5 Things A Dating Single Mom Should Avoid

1. Keep your distance. At first, kids may not take kindly to strangers that you date. And in today's disposable society, dating relationships sometimes do not last very long. For these reasons, it may be wise not to introduce your new friend to the kids until the relationship has had a chance to develop and grow for a period of several months. You don't want the kids to get attached to this new person in your life, only to lose him when the relationship with their mother doesn't work out.

2. Don't neglect the kids. Dating a new person can be tremendously exciting. Your ego may inflate, you may start having fun after a long period of drought, and you may be tempted to let things get out of control in terms of being out several nights a week. After all, the kids represent duty while your new friend beckons with entertaining experiences. But don't get so wrapped up with another adult that you begin to neglect the children. Even talking on the phone for hours in the evening can keep you from supervising homework, overseeing baths, or interacting meaningfully with the little ones who are longing for your time and attention.

3. Don't get too serious right away. Rushing into a new dating relationship can spell trouble if you don't take the necessary time to get to know the person as a friend first. Building a relationship with someone who may prove unstable over time may lead to another heartbreak, which would not be good for you, and ultimately, for the kids. Even if you don't introduce the person to them, they will sense your hurt and disillusionment, and you may become depressed and withdraw unconsciously from family life. Enjoy your children and date on the side. One day the kids will be gone, and you can date freely without a care in the world at that point.

4. Don't give all your emotions to the new person in your life. Affection, concern, and creativity can all get channeled into building a meaningful role within your friend's life. But save some of your time, energy, and skills for the kids. They need you more than another adult does. Enjoy your evenings and weekends with them in baking cookies or building snow forts as you sustain a strong family circle that will keep everyone united.

5. Don't force a relationship between your new friend and the children. When the time comes for them to meet and perhaps to bond, allow their relationship to proceed at a natural pace. Don't insist that they like your friend, or that your friend build a relationship with them. It may be that a family bond will never form, for any number of reasons. You must be willing to remain objective and make careful decisions for future goals.

Dating as a single mom can provide opportunities for fun and exciting outings. But be careful to maintain a balance with the children as you consider adding a new person to your life and theirs.