In order to build a bond with your brother-in-law, he has to see that you are a good man and a caring husband who deserves to be married to his sister.
If your brother in law is a teenager, then you can be the "cool" older brother to him.Consider taking him to a concert of a band that he likes so that the two of you can enjoy an evening of male bonding.Tell him that he is welcome to invite a few friends to come along - it will win you major brownie points.He may be nervous to hang out with you by himself, but with his friends around as a support system he will feel much more comfortable.Going out to do something fun like a concert is a good way to break the ice and begin forging a relationship.If he's not that into music, but he is the sports fan, then take him to a sporting event.Hopefully, the two of you will be rooting for the same team.Sporting events are another low-pressure situation for hanging out with your brother-in-law because there is a need for continual conversation since you'll be watching the game.
If your brother in law is significantly older than you, then he is probably also significantly older than your wife.Therefore, he has grown up playing the protective order brother role in her life, so breaking the ice with him is going to be a little bit harder.However, he probably loves his sister very much, and would love to develop a bond with her husband.Find out what his hobbies are and what he likes to do for fun, and ask him if he would like to share one of those activities with you.Ask him for advice about being a husband if has been married for many years, or about being a father if he is a father and you and your wife are thinking about starting a family of your own.He'll be flattered that you came to him for advice, and when someone feels flattered, they can't help but like you just a little bit more.Since he is a big brother, he enjoys being looked to for guidance and advice, so call him if you have any questions that you think he may be able to answer.
The most important thing is that your brother-in-law sees that you treat his sister with love and respect.You have to prove yourself to him; he has to see firsthand that you're providing a stable and happy home for your wife, and that you are sweet and loving to her on a regular basis.If the sister is not happy, then he is not going to be happy with you.However, being the wonderful husband that you are, it will be easy to win him over and build a long-lasting relationship with your brother-in-law.
