There are many challenges for new mothers bringing a new baby home, and many women are unprepared for the psychological struggles of being a new mom.
Your obstetrician keeps no secret about the pain you'll endure during the labor and delivery of your baby. Even the "easiest" of births is not without discomfort. Veteran mothers assure you that it is a pain you'll soon forget as you cradle your newborn in your arms. While that may be true in that wonderful moment, the truth is, the trauma of childbirth leaves many women sore, aching and incapacitated for several weeks.
Fortunately, those few weeks pass in a flurry of visitors, well-wishers, helpers, and a general excitement about the new addition to your family. Unfortunately, for many first time moms, this can be when the toughest challenges begin. Suddenly, as your short-term support network quietly fades into the background, you are left with the overwhelming realization that you are now responsible for the health, happiness and well-being of an extremely vulnerable person. Your body, fatigued from lack of sleep and exercise, is surging with hormones that could make even the most sane person feel a little "crazy". Many mothers find they can no longer watch the news with the same level of disregard because they realize their baby's new world can be a scary place. Plagued with fear, new moms may begin to worry about everything imaginable from the real-like Sudden Infant Death Syndrome-to the surreal-like believing the car behind yours is trying to run you and the baby down. Your mind can play cruel jokes on you, stealing what little sleep you're getting and robbing you of quality time with your child.
Unfortunately, one of the most troubling parts of postpartum mothering comes just as your body and hormones resume some sense of normalcy. Despite the best of intentions to return to work, many new moms find themselves desperately wishing they could stay home longer than the short 12 weeks afforded by the Family and Medical Leave Act. For many families, however, it's simply not possible to live on one income or without the medical insurance mom's job provides. As you try to make peace with your day-care arrangements and return to your working schedule-you find some of the most unsympathetic people are mothers who are able to stay at home full-time. They often have a false sense of what you are working for and believe instead that your motives are materialistic. Rather than support you, they can make your burden even greater by forcing working moms feel as if they aren't worthy of parenthood. However, research has shown that working mothers make quality-time with their child a priority, and in the end, spend almost as much with their children as their non-working peers.
One of the best ways to deal with the challenges of postpartum mothering, and be the best caregiver possible is to take care of yourself first, physically and psychologically. It's important to eat healthy, sleep well, exercise and maybe most importantly reach out to veteran mothers who can validate your feelings. Lastly, at the end of the day, as your rock your baby to sleep, rest assured that you are being the best mother you can be.
