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The decision to adopt is a tough one to make. Once you have decided that adoption is for you, you have to choose a path to follow. For many people adopting domestically is the answer.
You should begin by researching the different types of adoption. Possibilities include using a lawyer to adopt, adopting privately, or adopting through an agency. When you decide how you want to adopt, ask the agency or lawyer you will use about their fees. Adoption is expensive so do not be put off if they quote you a price that is thousands of dollars. Ask them what services they provide for the fee they charge. Ask them what expenses you can expect to pay that are not included in their price. Finally, ask them what will happen to your money if the birth mom changes her mind. You can negotiate with some agencies over costs. Do not be afraid to ask if they will reduce their fees to accomodate your income or if they will let you pay the fees back to them over time.
All states allow some of the birthmother's living expenses to be paid for by the adopting family. You will want to have an idea of what each state's requirements are before you commit to an agency or a lawyer. Some states allow the adoptiong family to pay many thousands of dollars in living expenses while others allow for only three or four thousand dollars to be paid. If the adoption falls through, you will probably not be able to get any of this money back. If money is a concern for you, choose a state that has fewer allowable living expenses.
Each state has different laws regarding relinquishment. Some states give the birthmother weeks in which she can change her mind about placing her baby for adoption. Other states allow the birthmother to relinquish her rights after 48 hours. In general, look for states that have shorter relinquishment times. You do not want to bring a baby home from the hospital only to have the birth mother change her mind a month later.
You will also choose to have an open or a closed adoption. Again, each state has different requirements so do your research. In general, choosing open adoption will allow you to become a parent quicker. Birthmothers like to talk with adoptive families before and after the baby is born, it helps them be at peace with the decision to give up their baby.
Spend some time researching adoption. If you know the right questions to ask you can make the adoption process less stressful and expensive.
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