Advice on relationships: letting go

Maybe you're still madly in love with your significant other, but something tells you it's time to let go. How do you know when to let go? There is no full-proof way to know when to let go of a relationship. Even experts will agree and disagree on when it is time to let go of a relationship.

So it is important to remember when you are reading an article or book about relationships to remember that advice is only advice. The real decision is up to you.

Relationship issues run the full gamut, and it is important to take an honest look at what your issues are. If you are being physically or sexually abused in a relationship, get professional help immediately. It may be extremely hard to tell someone outside of your relationship what is happening inside your relationship, but it crucial that you do not put your life at risk in a relationship. It is simply crucial that you get help as soon as possible if you are being harmed in your relationship.

Verbal abuse can also be incredibly damaging. It would be a very wise idea to seek professional help if you are being verbally abused.

Equally important, you might find that you are the person abusing your significant other in some way. It is also crucial that you get help in this instance. There are professionals who are qualified to help you to discontinue abusing other people. They will also help you to look at your underlying issues. Perhaps you, too, were abused.

There are, of course, zillions of other issues that might make you feel that you are at the end of a relationship. If you stop loving the other person, for instance, maybe you feel it is time to leave. If you know the other person is no longer in love with you, perhaps it is also time to leave. Every relationship has its ups and downs, so it is important to distinguish between what is the end of love and what is merely an issue along the way of a relationship.

Other reasons for possibly ending a relationship may include: someone is having an affair, you feel there is someone more compatible out there for you, you just don't enjoy each other's company any longer, etc. Everyone has his or her reason for doubting whether a relationship should continue.

It is a lot easier, of course, to consider ending a short-term relationship than a long-term marriage. In a long-term marriage, you simply have many more years of history together.

When in doubt, seek help. You do not need to make your decision alone. If you want to break up with your boyfriend of two months, perhaps you simply want to talk to your friends or your parents about it. But if you are thinking of ending a five-year marriage, or even a one-year one, consider getting extra help. Even if the end result after getting help is that you still decide to end the marriage, an expert can guide you through that process.

There are plenty of resources for people seeking help in the area of relationships. Bookstores and libraries obviously have books on relationships. But personal, face-to-face guidance can make an enormous difference. You might consider contacting one or all of the following: a religious advisor, a spiritual counselor, a therapist, psychiatrist, marriage counseling center, support group, etc. If there is alcohol or drug abuse involved in your relationship, consider a 12-step group such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon.

Whatever you choose to do, remember that you do not need to do it alone. Ending a relationship can bring up many different emotions, and you do not need to handle these on your own. You are in charge of your own life and your own decisions, but seeking guidance along the way can make all the difference in the world.