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Everywhere you look there is literature inundating us about the benefits of breast-feeding. Studies have shown that it can reduce allergies. Babies get the best nutrition from breast milk. It can decrease the chance for childhood illnesses. Mothers who breast-feed have that special time to bond more with their child. With all of these positive affects of breast-feeding, what mother wouldn't want to breast-feed?
There are millions of women every year who give birth and then begin breast feeding their babies. It is natural. This is the way nature intended things to be. Books tell us everyone can breast-feed and that it just takes some time for mother and baby to get used to it. Add these facts to the positive affects of breast feeding and when a mother does have problems she can become stressed and riddled with guilt.
First, let's set the record straight. Not every breast-feeding journey is successful. Yes, this is the way our bodies are designed and, yes, mothers in third world countries do not have a choice but to breast-feed. They also have a higher infant mortality rate. Women who breast-feed a child who is not getting enough milk can cause that child to become malnourished.
Problems can occur due to the infant not having a sucking reflex when he or she is born. Sometimes, the mother's milk does not come in correctly. And, there are times the infant will outright refuse the breast. How does a mother deal with this, knowing it is best for her baby, but that she is unable to give her baby her best?
The first thing to do is to keep reminding yourself you have nothing to feel ashamed about or guilty for. You are doing the best you can for your baby. You and your baby will bond no matter how you feed him or her. This tiny person in your arms is going to love you even if he or she gets food from a bottle.
Sometimes pumping can help for a little while. This is not something you can keep up with for long, though. Usually a mother can only keep up with the nutritional needs of her baby for about two months using a pump. Then, it will be time to start weaning the baby to formula because he or she will have an appetite the pumping will not keep up with.
Knowing that you are doing all you can do is important. Do not beat yourself up over something you have no control over. Allow your self to relax and enjoy this new family member. And, keep in mind, with bottle feeding others can help you feed and therefore give you a break once in a while. It also means Daddy can take his turns getting up for two o'clock feedings.
When baby is snuggled in bed for a few hours treat your self to a bubble bath. Don't worry, you will hear him or her if he or she wakes up. Read something for yourself. Put the baby books and magazines aside and read just for fun while you're taking your bath. This will help relieve some of the stress.
Talk to your doctor and let him ease your fears of not being able to give this one thing to your baby you really wanted to give. Ask him to put you in contact with other mothers who have had similar experiences. Talking with women who understand your feelings will help you work through them.
Don't take joking around from family members personally. More than likely, they don't realize how upsetting this can be and are only trying to help cheer you up. If it gets to be too much, tell them they are hurting your feelings in a calm way. Most of the time this will get you an apology and stop the behavior.
Do whatever it is you usually do to relieve stress. If you like to walk, go for a walk. Swimming or running are good stress relievers. Meditating helps a lot of people relieve stress. Remember that stress is best relieved by physical exercise or indulging yourself in something you don't usually allow yourself to do.
Most of all keep cuddling and snuggling with your new bundle of joy. Those first smiles and coos will relieve more stress than anything will. And, keep in mind, you have done nothing wrong and you are not alone.
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