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If your child is critically or chronically ill, caring for him is very draining, both physically and mentally. Because of the anxiety and stress we are faced with, coupled with the loss of sleep and appetite, it is important that we first take care of ourselves. This means we must force ourselves to eat, take vitamins, and take catnaps whenever possible so that we are strong enough to care for our sick child.
When tending to a sick child, do not show him your fear. Comfort and assure him, but treat him as normally as possible. If a child sees your fear and anxiety, (even small infants can sense fear), this will only add to the child's anxiety and deter his physical progress. Your child's state of mind is as important to overcoming his illness as his physical condition. Always, always appear upbeat and cheerful when taking care of your child.
Establish a good, working relationship with his doctor. Choose a doctor whom you trust and feel comfortable calling in the middle of the night and also a doctor who will be open and honest with you regarding your child's condition. Your doctor knows what you are going through and if he is a caring professional, will refer you to a support group or introduce you to other parents going through a similar crisis.
Involve your entire family in your child's care. Again, you must make your child feel normal and by involving others in his daily routine, they will feel comfortable around him and will be able to give you a much needed break.
If you have other children at home to care for, please remember to take time for them. They will resent their sick sibling, and then feel guilty for that resentment. They may also act out behaviorally to get the attention they need. This will only lead to added stress, tension and unnecessary anger toward the healthy child. Have patience and be open and honest with your healthy child, explaining, in terms they can understand, why his brother/sister needs extra care. Involve your healthy child in the care of the sick child, whether it's getting a clean blanket or helping you change a diaper, they will feel needed and important.
Keep lines of communication open. It's important to talk about what you are feeling, as you, too, may have feelings of resentment and then guilt. These feelings are normal but they must be vented. Keep a journal or a tape recorder to chronicle your feelings from day to day.
Last, but most important, keep the faith. Prayer can do miracles, even if it's just the small miracle of allowing you a good night's sleep. Have faith in yourself, your child and your doctor; for having faith is having strength which is what we all need during a critical illness.
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