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Talking about sex and drugs with your children is usually a conversation that most parents want to miss, and might even dread. However, it may be one of the most important conversations you ever have with your child, and you might even save her life.
Teaching children to say no to sex and drugs doesn't start when your child is in junior high. You need to arm your child with some necessary qualities that will allow her to say no to these things on her own when she is faced with them on her own, and she will be.
Your child having high self-esteem will really be the key element in her saying no in the face of peer pressure. The ways a parent can help raise her child's self esteem is to allow her to make some of her own decisions- don't always boss her around and be strict and controlling with decisions, allowing only your decisions to be the "correct ones." Let her voice her opinions, and let her talk to you as to why she feels the way she does, and why she holds the opinions that she does. Having a reason why she feels the way she does is very important.
Later you will have to give her reasons why drugs and sex are no good for her (lowered chances of college, possible welfare, AIDS/HIV, other STDS, teenage pregnancy, health problems in general from both, emotional scars due to both, possible religious convictions). Your child will remember the conversation you have with her about why she should not do drugs or have sex. If you tell your child "Don't do drugs or have sex- because I said so!" your child will, in the face of peer pressure, wonder "WHY NOT?" and there is a much higher chance for her to try drugs and have sex when she sees no reason why NOT to do those things.
Other ways to help your child to have high self-esteem might be to get her involved with sports or other extra-curricular activities. Research tells us that the more sports and activities a child is involved with, the less likely she is to get involved with drugs or have early sex. Sports teach discipline and give your child a sense of achievement, which can also help her self-esteem.
And lastly, don't forget to just talk to your child! Try to talk to your child every day about her schooling, friends, sports, and her life in general. There is a happy medium between being a girlfriend and a parent, and you can act like both, when the time is right. And there is a time for both. Lots of parents can be best friends with their children, as long as they don't abandon their parenting role while taking on the friend role.
Even though teenagers sometimes act like it is "not cool" for their parents to talk to them about sex or drugs, you need to. It is your job, and if you don't do it, they may not learn the facts about early sex and/or drugs. Plus, teenagers want your information, guidelines and rules, although they would never admit it. Your rules and those "lectures" prove that you care about them.
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