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Attention Deficit Disorder has been around for a very long time, only it has always been ignored. Misunderstood, even. Not every child with an attention disorder is hyper, but they need special care just as well. It can become very frustrating for both parents and child when it comes down to dealing with ADD.
Thankfully, this disorder has become more open. There are many wonderful resources for parents. These help understand the condition and give wonderful advice on how to cope and build a structured environment. Here are some easy steps to try that are very rewarding when used consistently, when raising a child with ADD.
First, you must understand that an ADD child is not consciously aware of their problem. It can be spoken about in any manner, they can tell you they have it or understand what it is, but the actions that come along behind the knowledge are not in their comprehension.
Second, a slow, very verbal routine works best. A child with ADD should be prepared for each new transition.
Throwing a child with attention problems from one movement to the next is very hard for them to adjust to. It can cause a lot of anger, which in my case results in tantrums, or it can cause sadness if the child is hurt because they don’t understand what is going on. Younger children are more prone to anger, since this is how they deal with most emotions. Constantly preparing them for each new situation helps keep them ready, though it will not end any possible outbursts.
The third step is Redirection. This can seem tedious, bothersome, even annoying when you apply it on a daily basis. But if you keep your mind open, and realize that you are helping your child, it will become easier for you to do. Redirection is simply repetitions of demands. “Put your shoes on.” Simple enough right? Not for a child who has ADD. To them it is a challenge! Everything in vision is an obstacle, the television, a picture, another sibling. Anything that can change his/her line of thought is a problem.
Four. Try to handle situations with the least amount of anger and sarcasm. Anger doesn’t improve anything, it actually makes matters worse. The child doesn’t understand why they are being yelled at. They can’t understand why you are suddenly mad at them. They just think, “Mommy/Daddy is mad at me. I must be a bad boy/girl.” So, if you are able to address them with a patient, kind voice, it helps the child greatly.
Five. Sometimes you will need to stop what you are doing and give the child more one on one handling. If you are in a hurry to leave, you will have to escort the child to the room, help them or just stand and watch while they get dressed. You might try talking them through it. Try this, but watch for the child’s reaction. If it upsets the child too much, it could make matters worse, instigating a tantrum (if your child is prone to these). Some children with ADD seem to fluctuate in intensity based on their emotions. If they are angry, sad or nervous, their attention spans lowers even more, making it difficult for them to even listen to a full command. Some days are going to be harder than others.
There is something about physical contact that makes them pay attention. If they don't object to being touched, then this is a good start. You won’t have to always do it, just until they get an idea, then, usually, they start focusing a bit more.
The last step is a combination of what I have already stated. Try your best to practice patience, kindness, and lots of love. It is hard, but remember: None of us are perfect and we make our own mistakes. Just like we have to teach our children to pay attention, so do we.
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