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If you are a parent, you must have heard this before, “I’m borrrrrrrrred!” As you look around your home at the stacks of video tapes, toys, books and games, you feel as though your head might explode from frustration. How can these kids possible be bored with all of the activities and playthings that are around? When a child says that they are bored, it often really isn’t that they don’t have anything to do or anyone to play with, it could be that your child is just feeling a need for some parental attention. If you hear the phrase, “I’m bored” more often than you can count, it could be that your child needs to spend some time with you and reconnect.
With so many activities and video games and toys in your child’s life, it can be easy to forget that the thing they need to have the most is attention and conversation with the two most important people in his life, his parents. When your child comes to you saying he is bored, it is very likely that he doesn’t want you to point out another activity for him to do, but he may want to just spend time with you, talking, walking or just horsing around. When a child is off and absorbed in play, he is away from you and he can start to feel lonesome and need to touch base and get reassurance before he can go off on his own again. It is a huge mistake to threaten a child with chores when he comes to tell you he is bored. This will do nothing but discourage your child from coming to you with his needs.
Instead of sending your child off on other missions when he is bored, put down what you are doing and really pay attention to him. Talk about school, friends, his worries and fears. Find out what your child is thinking. Instead of finding an activity to do with your child, spend the time giving out hugs and kisses and just talking. You can use this time to catch up on things you may be missing out on in your child’s life and he will know that he can come to you and it will be a great sense of security. A child will never come to you and say he is bored just to irritate you or get you to find something else for them to do, children are happiest at play when they make up their own games.
A good way to spend time with your child without adding another activity is to simply go for a walk. Walking is a great way to get talking as you are alone with nothing else to do and no distractions. You will be surprised at how much you will learn on your walks as your child opens up to you and his stories come flowing out. Often all we need to stop being bored is someone to share our stories with so that we feel connected and noticed.
When your child feels secure again he will probably pull away from you and go back off on his own again. You might know this already from times when you wished for your child to sit down and chat with you about something and they seem to have ants in their pants, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible and bouncing around impatiently. Your children want to know that you are there for them, they need an anchor to pull themselves back in from time to time. Independence can be quite a scary thing, but it is an important part of growing up.
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