Dealing with temper tantrums in children

What parent has not wanted to run the other way when their children act up in front of strangers? What parent hasn’t wanted to ring the neck of their darling toddler who just minutes ago looked like an angel visiting from heaven? What parent doesn’t wonder what demon just possessed their teenager?

It is inevitable but true, children will throw a temper tantrum in the most embarrassing places.

· Walking away from a screaming child who seems to have been possessed and is now wiggling all over the store floor.

· Spanking the child in public or dragging them out the store by their earlobes.

· Overreacting in rage because you have become embarrassed or ridiculed by others who have now arrived to investigate.

· Offering the child a reward or cave into his or her demands because of the tantrum.

· Trying to reason with the child or discuss the issue while the child is still throwing the tantrum.

· Giving in to your child’s goading.

What a parent should do is:

· Stay calm and cool headed.

· Don’t let others tell you how you should handle the situation.

· Find a quiet place to give the child a time out, explaining that he or she can get up when the attitude has stopped.

· A child will often try to goad a parent into saying some harsh words that the parent will feel guilty for later. As hard as it may be, avoid making any comments to the child while he or she tells you how bad of a parent you are, how mean you are, or how selfish you are being. You know in your heart of hearts that is not true. We all say things out of anger that should never be said, realize that children do the same thing.

· While everything is fresh in everyone’s minds, take time to find out what caused the tantrum and address those issues before addressing the issue of the embarrassing tantrum. Reiterate what you think you heard your child say, as a question so that he or she can answer you back with a yes or no. This will let the child know that you now understand what caused the tantrum.

· Once the issue of why the tantrum started is solved and handled, let the child know that under no circumstances is that behavior acceptable. Discuss further repercussions for the behavior that just took place, such as no t.v. for two days, no trip to the candy store, no football game on Saturday, and so on and so forth. Stick to your decision. Although your child may turn back into that loving angel a few hours from now, you must stick to your guns. If you do not, your child knows that there can still be a next time.

· If your child will not leave the store with you, do not drag the child out of the store. Instead, carry the child out of the store and set him or her down on the nearest bench.