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Case scenario # 1
Your 8 year old is playing quietly in the front yard. A well dressed, clean cut young man approaches. He says he's looking for his puppy. It's lost and it needs medicine. He asks your child to help him find the puppy. He offers a reward, ice cream or money, if the puppy is found. He says, "Wait! I think I hear it crying! Hurry, come with me!" What would your child do?
Case scenario # 2
Your 10 year old is walking to school. A "nice" looking young woman drives along side and says, "Your father has been injured at work. They sent me to get you and take you to the hospital! Hurry, get in!" What would your child do?
Can't happen? It's already happened. Maybe not to your child. But it's happened hundreds, if not thousands of times, all across this country. Sometimes the incident had a happen ending. The child and parents escaped unscathed and wiser for the experience. In other cases, the incident ended in tragedy. Sometimes, nothing "done or said" could have affected the outcome. However, in an overwhelming number of cases, simple planning and "plain talk" with the child could have made a major difference in the outcome.
1. Straight talk- Explain in no uncertain terms that regardless of circumstances, the child should only trust and go with certain people. Then list those people, specifically.
2. When discussing "emergency plans" with children, follow the KIS rule. Keep it simple, and there's fewer parts to go awry. Rehearse plans for placing emergency phone calls. Identify "safe" places to run to in times of crisis. Trusted neighbors and family memebers are good examples.
4. The N.G.Y.T. Method of Assertiveness.
This acronym stands for, "NO, GO, YELL, TELL"
It works like this.
A. The NO stage. If your child is approached by a stranger, teach them to always be aware of distance. Instruct them that they have a body space of several feet in circumference that belongs to them and no one else. If a stranger tries to invade that space, they are to move away, and state, "No" in a firm manner. Keeping a "safe" distance" sends the first message that this child may not be an easy mark. If the person tries to invade the new circumference, have the child state it again, this time much louder and with authority. (Yes, even a 7 year old can summon "authority" when the need arises.) This assertiveness sends the second message to the attacker that there may be easier prey somewhere else.
B. The GO stage. The stranger has made a second attempt to close the distance, despite the assertive "NO" of the child. Immediately upon issuing the second and emphatic NO!, the child should be leaving. NOW. Now, there's a right way and a wrong way to "leave." Teach the child to turn away "purposely" and walk (or run) away as if they have a definite destination in mind. (And they should have.) The child should have a "safe destination" already in mind. NEVER teach them to run into an empty house, unless there is just no alternative. Teach them to walk (or run)in such a manner that they can see both the way ahead and still maintain a wary eye for any signs of pursuit. This requires practice. Use "role-play" to teach this to your child.
3. The YELL stage. The worst case scenario. Pursuit. The child needs to be in route to the nearest place of saftey. Instruct the child to yell for help at this point. Most children have shrill voices and many times, their screams are dismissed by adults as "play". Rehearse this with your child. Teach them to "yell" not scream. When you have a moment, listen to a child scream on a playground. It sounds like banshee's wailing. Then listen as they call to a friend over a long distance. The words, although amplified, are still clear. This is the way to teach you child to "YELL" for help. What to yell? Many times, a child yelling "HELP" is again dismissed as "play." But anyone yelling, "FIRE" and calling out specific names, is far more likely to be taken seriously.
4. The TELL stage. Assuming the child has reached safety, it's now time to report this event. If the child has escaped but can find no trustworthy adult, instruct them to immediately dial 911.
Play "memory games" to assist your child in leanring how to recall detail. Any useful information the child can recall may prove crucial in apprehending the offender
Remember...
NO.....GO.....YELL.....TELL
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