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It is truly amazing how many chat rooms, message boards, and dating services are on the Internet. In this millennium of the internet, no one need be lonely anymore. However, having more choices means you need to be smarter. There are several favorable reasons to look to the Internet to meet one's mate. Anonymity can be empowering. You can say things that you might normally be too embarrassed or afraid to say in person. You also have time to consider what you want to say. The days of stuttering and sputtering out unintelligible phrases are over. Further, do you hate singles bars, gyms, and church "singles" functions? If you are uncomfortable shopping at the meat market in person, order out. Or should I say, dial up?
Have you ever thought, "If someone would just give me a chance and get to know me, I know they would like me"? Does being shy or fear of rejection keep you from walking up to a perfect stranger and putting yourself on the line? On the internet, all you really have is talk. So, here is your chance to be known prior to judgement. However, be careful in this department. This is where it gets a little tricky. Here is where the "cyber exaggeration" factor comes in.
Exaggeration is nothing new. We have all run into people, or been those people, who have told little white lies about such things as our salary, our jobs, our marital status. However, on the internet, the exaggerations can be much larger. Someone can also exaggerate about what he or she looks like, and also furnish a picture. There are NOT that many super models out there. If you get a picture that looks too good to be true, you might look through some catalogs to make sure your new prospect did not just scan in the latest Sears catalog underwear section. Without body language and voice inflection to gauge the veracity of what someone is telling you, you have to go a little on faith and a lot on intuition. It is easy to be swept away by someone who knows how write a good line. This leads to another potential problem of perceived intimacy.
With a lot of the barriers down, communication can become quite intimate quite quickly. You could find yourself writing things you would never say to someone in person at such an early stage of the relationship. It is very easy to get caught up and feel as though an intimate relationship has begun. However, you never really know who is on the other end until you meet in person. The internet correspondence is to some degree fantasy. When the fantasy meets the reality, you do not want to inadvertently skip over important dating steps. Just because you feel close to this person, do not do things that you would not normally do with someone you just met. In reality, you are just meeting this person. Be careful to act in a manner appropriate with meeting a new person, regardless of any and all previous intimate conversations. For instance, if it is not normal for you to kiss on the first date, adhere to your usual guidelines. You may know the internet persona quite well, but you do not know the real person yet.
If used wisely, the Internet can be a very powerful and fun tool for dating. Some precautions to take are 1) never give out your address, 2) meet the person at a neutral location and consider making it a group meeting, 3) as with any new person, take time to verify the veracity of what he or she tells you, and 4) take things slowly and act appropriately for a first date.
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