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When kids act out, sometimes it is very easy to get frustrated. How do you discipline your child, rather than punishing them? How can you make sure your child learns a valuable lesson? When disciplining a child, it is important not to scare them, but to give them an effective punishment that fits the crime. In order to do this, you may need to take some time out. Make sure you are calm when you are ready to give them their “sentence”. When the punishment feels like work to your child, and at the same time alleviates some of their anxiety and guilt, they will learn a valuable lesson and be less likely to revisit the same scenario again.
When deciding the punishment, use logical consequences. If your child stole something, make them work to pay it back. If your child acted up in school and made a mess, have them volunteer to clean up extra on the next school day. Give your child choices instead of confining them to one sentence. For example, if your child refuses to share with John at school, have him let John borrow his favorite toy OR take away his favorite toy for a set amount of days.
If your child decides to argue, walk away from him or send him off to think about what he did and why it was not appropriate. If they have trouble understanding what they are in trouble for, give them an example, such as “Remember that day that Sally hit you and hurt your arm? Well, when you pulled John’s hair, it hurt him just like Sally hurt you.” (This may not work with younger kids, unless it is in the short-term!)
Remember that no matter what you do, your child is not a criminal and does not deserve to be treated like one. Make the punishment brief, and let them know that you love them anyway. Also, be firm about what will happen in the future if they decide to commit the same “crime” again. (Make sure it is a little harsher sounding!
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