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Quite often now, grandparents live great distances from their grandchildren. The yearning for closeness between the generations does not dissipate by the mile. On the contrary, the need for contact is great. So what do you do to keep close when the grandchildren are far away?
Good old fashioned letter writing is a start. No need to wait until the children can read and write. Their parents can read to them and can even take dictation for a reply. This is a small thing for the parent to do. It will bring much joy to your child, and to you. Even the youngest child loves to get mail and letter writing is an easy way for them to get to know you, and for you to keep up with what they are doing.
Correspondence in the modern method, via email, has become popular even for children. The instant gratification is appealing to children, and with a few basic computing tools you can share more than words. Photos can be scanned, as can the children's artwork, report cards and such. The kids will love sharing their world with you while they are encouraged to learn about the technology, and you will enjoy being a part of their life.
A favorite activity of many grandparents is snuggling up with the little ones for a bedtime story. While you may have very few chances to snuggle in person, you can still share a storybook. Break out the video camera (rent one, or borrow one, if you have to) and tape yourself reading a children's book, showing the pictures, of course. Then send the video, and the book, off to the grandkids. Do you have a growing brood of young ones? Buy a copy of the book for each child's household and make copies of the tape. The children will love reading along with grandma on the video.
Video cameras are wonderful tools. You can share your favorite hobbies and lifestyle via the video tape. Take the camera on a tour of the gardens. Show how you plant, weed and harvest, or how butterflies and hummingbirds love your flowers. Like to bake? Whip up your famous chocolate chip cookies in front of the camera, then ship off the baked end results, and the tape. If your little ones are interested in baking, you could prepare the ingredients for another batch (minus the eggs and perishables) and send that along with the recipe for them to follow. Even without the video tape, cookies from grandma are a welcome treat!
When visits can be arranged, keep in mind that the children might be wary and need some time to warm up to you. If they come to your home, try to prepare a special toy box that they can feel is their treasure box away from home. Plan on every day activities, during which you can chat but that don't put pressure on the children. Taking a walk or cooking together are both easy going things that can become cherished traditions. Are you visiting at their home? Ask to see their school yard, favorite park or even their homework. Show interest in their world and they will open up to you.
Regular phone calls can be expensive, but it is worth the price; they mean a lot. Knowing that grandma is going to call every other Friday evening can be something to look forward to. The child will start to take note of things to tell you, like when he gets an "A" on a test or makes a new friend at school, he will think, "I can't wait to tell grandma about this." Let the kids know that they can call you when they miss you, are feeling lonely or scared, or upset. If this is not affordable to their parents, offer to accept collect calls. Being a beacon in the dark nights of life is a privilege of being a grandparent.
There are so many ways to show your love. Whatever method you choose matters not, as long as you make an effort, they will know that you care, and they will care in return. What better lesson does a grandparent teach?
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