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Being pregnant with a 2nd or subsequent baby can be a wonderful experience. You may wonder how your older child is going to react to the new arrival. Especially with toddlers, the time you introduce the new baby to them, their reaction may be in a way you didn’t expect. You go through your pregnancy and the toddler may or may not totally understand there is about to be another human being added to the family. Here is some timely advice to ease the transition for your precious little toddler.
When a toddler is the only child, it is best to begin preparing them well in advance for their new role as big brother or sister. Ease them into the transition so they won’t suddenly feel that their position in the family has been taken. They will react to the new baby better and in the long run perhaps the toddler and baby will become fast friends as well.
Build up the toddler’s role as big brother or sister. Spend a lot of quality time with them before the baby is born. Explain to them that the baby in your belly is “their” baby brother/sister. Tell them how they are going to be such a big help by helping to hold, rock, bathe, dress, feed, etc. the baby. Beef up their role as the “big” brother/sister. Tell them about when you were pregnant with them too. Children love hearing stories about themselves and it will help them to understand what is happening by comparing the baby to them.
By helping your toddler to look forward to the new baby’s arrival, you are helping to ease the transition from being the baby to being the big brother/sister. Include your toddler in all of your activities, even if you are nursing the baby, have your toddler fetch you a burp rag or a clean diaper. You’ll be surprised at how these little things make the toddler feel needed. Sit down with them and explain to them that there will be times you’ll have to take care of the baby. Even if the toddler is 2 years old - they do understand somewhat. Be prepared though, even the most stable child will experience some of the green-eyed monster at some point or another.
When jealousy arises, just be firm. You may need to reiterate that the baby is a part of the family and is staying. A lot of toddlers will ask their parents to send the baby back. But like everything in life, it takes time to get use to the change. Keep a watchful eye on your baby and toddler. Some toddlers will react with anger - slapping or hitting the new baby. Don’t overreact - but firmly explain that he is hurting the baby and that behavior is not acceptable. To the toddler the world once revolved around them - now they have to share their world with this tiny creature that takes mommy’s attention away. Try to understand from the toddler’s point of view that they are simply defending their position and be patient with them.
When you bring your new baby home - remember that the toddler, no matter how sweet and gentle they are, is too young to baby-sit. Keep an eye on both of them, and very soon the baby will be big enough to actually play with the big brother or sister.
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