Elderly Health Tips: Choosing quality nursing homes

I can't imagine anyone wanting to see a loved one spend the last years of life in a nursing home. Even when life's circumstances leave no other recourse, placing a family member in even the best nursing care facility can be a heartbreaking experience.

And what happens to that loved one, after moving in and after family members have gone? So many horror stories of nursing home mistreatment and abuse make the decision to place someone in a full care facility that much more heartwrenching.

· Make regular, frequent visits to the facility, and visit with your loved one. Pay careful attention to his/her mood, cleanliness, appetite, and to the conditions of the facility, itself.

· In between regular visits, make surprise visits from time to time. Let nursing staff know that family members could walk through the doors at any time. Should you have to feel the staff must be on their toes simply because you may walk through that door? No. But having a staff aware of a family's attention to a resident can make a great deal of difference in care and attention.

· Record and report all problems with the appropriate supervisors. Neither you - nor your loved one - should ever have to tolerate rude behavior, callousness, nor outright abuse or lack of care. If nothing changes, move up to the next level of authority. Don't be afraid to contact state nursing home boards or local politicians to get results every nursing home resident deserves.

· Be at the nursing home during regular mealtimes - not just for special occasions, when the home may have prepared special meals for visitors. See the actual food being served. Could you eat it? Would you? Does your loved one deserve this kind of food every day?

· Pay attention to the environment and to the physical condition of the facility. Does a foul odor hit your senses the moment you walk through the front door? Do residents sit around, alone or unattended, left to wander aimlessly around the halls, unnoticed for hours at a time? Are residents quiet and happy, sitting around happily chatting? Or are they wandering around, irritated and loudly complaining, but no one pays any attention to them nor to their situation? What does it take for a resident to get attention to their needs?

· Observe the interactions between residents and staff. Do residents shy away from the staff? Do residents receive positive, polite and respectful responses from the staff? Do staff members yell, or jerk patients around, or talk disrespectfully to anyone? What do staff members talk about, when they are around residents? Do they mock the residents? Or, do they talk around the residents, as though the residents weren't even present?

· Meet and visit regularly with nursing staff and administrators. Let them get to know you and your loved one as a family. Even if staff members see you as intrusive, bossy, or sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, so be it. Your loved one deserves your attention to quality care.

· Finally, listen carefully to what your loved one says, or doesn't say. Notice the little things. Know your loved one well enough to pick up on even the smallest changes, anything that might indicate a problem that needs your attention.

Nursing home stories may bring us to tears. But all facilities are not guilty of abuse or neglect. But, no matter how good we think or hear a place may be, the only way to ensure quality care for anyone is to be vigilant and involved in the day to day care of our loved ones.