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Having never lived with anyone who had children, I had no idea what to expect. Since the child in question was my niece, I figured that I would cope quite well. Even with this sentiment, I was unprepared for the reality. Hopefully, the following will help prepare others for what can be a very trying experience.
I had anticipated some problems especially since my niece, Danye, is quite precocious, but my imagination did not do reality justice. My thoughts did not come close to the size of the problems or the joy. Every day is a new lesson in patience and sometimes a new exercise in terror. Who knew that you could repeat the same phrase 467 times in the space of a few hours and still maintain your sanity? Or that one child’s lack of fear could cause such intense fear in an adult. Danye’s dance with gravity has elicited a scream from me on more than one occasion. It’s as if she doesn’t even know that gravity exists, much less that it works.
I think the worst part has to be the horrible realization that I come to every single day. You do grow up to be your parents and even your grandparents. I cannot count the number of times I have opened my mouth and heard my mother or my grandmother speak. The first time it happened, I was actually nauseous for a couple of hours. That feeling returned several times over the next month as I heard myself utter those illogical phrases every mother uses. "Because I said so, that’s why!" "How many times do I have to tell you no?" "Good girls don’t act like that in public." Okay, maybe that last one was just my grandmother.
There have been good things. I have now seen the inside of every public bathroom in this town. I know without hesitation that the Cartoon Network is channel 58. I can remember the names of all the Powerpuff girls, most of the time. My niece is an FBI agent in training and practicing on me so each day is an endless game of twenty questions that I usually lose. And I know the words to all the songs from "The Little Mermaid". Okay, I knew that last one before we lived together, but she doesn’t know that.
Even though I am only her aunt, I’ve learned a few things about parenting. Humor is very important. Being a parent is not easy, but it is rewarding. There is no limit to how much you can love someone. Peace and quiet are worth more than gold. Small hands can make big messes. Tickling should be an Olympic sport just for the sheer joy of it. And most importantly, my sister is a saint. I’m contacting the Catholic church next week and I’ll keep you posted.
The best part has been the sheer wonder she has brought to my life. Every day she amazes me with her intelligence, delights me with her imagination, dazzles me with her beauty, and fills my heart with her love. I don’t always understand her, but I am always in awe of her. Just don’t tell her that. She’s already conceited and spends most of her day in front of a mirror.
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