Positive parenting tips for toddlers

One minute you have a small and snugly baby in your arms, the next there is a noisy tornado running around your house. Babyies become those sneaky toddlers before you have time to catch your breath. When you have caught it, it seems like every second word you are saying is ‘no’, as your toddler starts to explore the world around them, and exert their little personalities.

Toddlers do not come with in-built rules, and have to be taught them. Unfortunately they have to learn these things before they are old enough to reason with, and this is where the problems start. You can spend an hour explaining to your darling that he really shouldn’t eat the dirt out of the pot because it is not good for him, he is making a mess, he could kill the plant, any number of reasons. None of this is going to make any sense to your toddler. What he is going to learn is that if he does eat the dirt, his Mum will spend at least this hour with him, talking to him. That will be good enough for him, and he will keep doing it.

‘No’, is what you have probably been doing. Often the 'NO' is accompanied by a small tap on the legs or hand, when they are just not responding, or the 'no' gets louder. Of course that is now frowned on, so that is where the second keyword comes into play, distraction.

Children are just learning, and the easiest way to stop them doing something they shouldn’t, is to give them something they can play with and learn from. I know you are thinking, where do I have the time to do all this, I am trying to get the housework done? Simple. Give your child a cloth and tell her to go and dust the saucepans in the cupboard. At this age kids just love to do what you are doing and the sooner you just accept this, and give them something to do, the easier it will be to get on with your own chores. Enjoy it, a couple of more years down the track and they will be moaning about chores, and wanting to get away from the house as much as possible. So there we have distraction. They are learning more, by helping you.

The third keyword, time-out, can be used effectively from about the age of three. It simply involves putting your child in one place, like on their chair, or on the couch, and making them sit there for a short space of time. The rule of thumb for the length of effective time is a minute per age, so if your child is 3 then she can sit there for three minutes, and so on. Do not under any circumstances shut the child in her room, or have her in a place she can not be seen. Locking in the bedroom is definitely out. You are trying to teach the child some discipline, not abuse her.

Children do need rules. It makes them feel secure and loved, and helps them to understand boundaries. As a parent you have to ensure that the rules you set are simple, easy to understand, and consistent. There is no point in telling a child she can not eat the dirt one day, and then laughing at her the next because she has. Most children are quick learners, and this toddler phase, like all others will pass, but this toddler phase is also one of the most important formative stages of a this child’s life. You might think it is funny now when your 4 year old yells at you and won’t do as he is told, but how they are at this age, is simply magnified when they hit teenage years.