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Obviously, a child is not born with knowledge. Einstein once said something to the effect that common sense is simply a collection of things told to a child before age eighteen. How to use the toilet is one of these things. Potty training does not have to be an aversive experience for the child or the parent, instead it can simply be a learning experience.
The first step to potty training is the realization on the child’s part that going to the bathroom in a diaper is an un-pleasurable experience. If they enjoy their present condition, then there is no motivation to use the toilet. One way to accomplish this is to use the “feel wet” diapers. These are the diapers which become soggy when they are soiled, instead of absorbing it.
Now, every time the child comes to you with a dry diaper, reinforce them. When they have a wet diaper then look sternly at them, while saying “no”, and walking towards the training toilet. When you reach the toilet, smile, and point at the toilet saying “yay!”. If possible, use the training toilet yourself, in front of your child, and then tell yourself how good you are and consume a reinforcer (such as food).
Most children have a pattern as to when they go to the bathroom. Some go after they play, most go when they wake up, or other intervals such as those. In order to establish the pattern of using the toilet, you must first have successful experience. So whenever the interval at which the child usually goes to the bathroom approaches, take the child and sit them on the toilet. Have a powerful reinforcement on hand such as chocolate, fruit, or a very nice toy. Food is the best reinforcement because it is immediate gratification.
Eventually the child will let out some urine or defecate, when this happens make a big deal out of it. Give the child tons of reinforcement, tell them how good they are, then take them out to play. After the child will repetitively go when you take them to the toilet, start putting them right next to the toilet, allow them to pull down their diaper and sit on the toilet.
After this, have the child follow you to the toilet and go through the process on their own. It is important to repetitively reinforce this behavior. After it is well established, then you can start to reinforce it intermittently.
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