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Children are abducted, molested, killed, and injured every single day. Many times the assailant is someone the child knows and trusts. Parents and teachers need to teach children how to protect themselves from both strangers, and those with authority over them. It’s a fine line between informing a child and giving them the feeling that the word is unsafe. While walking that line is difficult, it is vital to your child’s health and safety. For many parents, the methods I will describe may seem extreme, but your child’s life is worth it.
The most important thing parents must teach their children is how to say “No.” We’re all familiar with the “Just say No!” campaign of a few years ago, where children were instructed to “Just say No and walk away.” That’s great advice, however if children aren’t taught from a young age that it’s okay to say no, this advice won’t work. Most children are taught to respect and listen to adults. Telling a parent or teacher “No” is considered to be disrespectful, rude, and worthy of punishment or discipline. Yet, we expect these same children to stand up for themselves if needed. So, we’re really giving children mixed messages- say no and walk away but don’t tell a parent, teacher, or other adult no. And we wonder why so many children don’t speak up when they are abused by adults in authority!
The solution, of course, is simple. Parents need to teach their children that it is all right to tell an adult “NO.” Any adult, not just strangers. You never know who may try to hurt your child. My child was recently abused by a close family member. I would have never known what happened if she had not been taught to tell adults “No.” Allowing your child to tell you no does pose parenting problems, but if you set clear guidelines that indicate what is up for discussion your child will quickly learn to follow the rules that are not optional. In my house, for example, issues of health and safety are not up for discussion, my word is law. Everything else is open for compromise. This approach has worked well in my house. My kids have the self-esteem to tell any adult “no,” and to walk away from anyone who makes them uncomfortable, regardless of who the person is.
Another important thing for a child to learn is how to temporarily stop an attacker, providing the child enough time to get away. Teach your children the vulnerable areas of the human body and the best way to use that knowledge to his/her advantage. Teach your child where to hit, kick, bite, elbow or knee both male and female attackers. Make it clear that they are not to practice on anyone, and these moves should be used only if someone is trying to molest, kidnap or otherwise abuse them.
One of the most important jobs of a parent is to educate and protect their children. You can’t be with them every second of the day, so make sure your child has the knowledge, self-esteem and understanding to protect themselves.
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