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There are many ways that you can help your children gain the confidence that they need to function well in today’s society. They need to be able to stand up for themselves, speak up and say what’s on their mind and most importantly; they need to be able to ask for help when they need it. It is all about self worth. Everyone knows that it is important but did you know the many ways in which you can help them from an early age? Here are some ways to help develop your child’s confidence.
PAY ATTENTION
It may be mentioned a lot but it still holds true - pay attention to your kids. Their day is as important to them as yours is to you; whether it be pre school or high school or a weekend job. Take the time to listen, show them that what they have to say is important and interesting. They may just be encouraged enough to believe that they have something worthwhile to contribute to the world. After all, if your parents don’t think what you do is worthwhile, who will?
DO SOMETHING TOGETHER
Try organizing a time that you spend together. This is especially important in families with a lot of children. Everyone needs a time to be important so give the time! Often it is not a matter of quantity but quality. To often people can claim to have spent a great deal of time with their kids but in reality they have one eye on the television, the road or a video game. Do something together that doesn’t involve a mechanical third party. This is when you will really be getting through to each other. Playing a video game together does not constitute quality time. Go for a walk or out for lunch, have a picnic or go to the park. Help them learn something new or let them teach you something new.
The time you spend with them will show them that you think they are important enough to spend time with. You will be paying attention to the details of their life and showing them that you not only parent them but you like them as a person. This is where their self-esteem will come from.
MAKE A SCRAPBOOK
Sit down with your child and pick out some photos from all the different stages of development they have been through and start to document their life. Organize and decorate the pages together and remember to discuss what you did and what happened and how proud you were of them. Affix the photos in the book with some relevant information and leave spaces to fill in later as new milestones are reached.
It is very important to include all of the important events. This does not only mean activities or times when they excelled at something but rather all things that had an impact on their life. Record them and find the positive. For instance, they may have competed in a race but lost. The race was probably a big deal anyway. It does not matter that they didn’t win, record the event anyway and document how they managed a personal best or some other such victory.
ENCOURAGE THEM
One thing that you can definitely do to help them along with their confidence is to encourage them. Too often parents will point out the negatives and fail to show any indication towards the positive. Children don’t know if you don’t speak up! Don’t leave it until you see something wrong, comment on how nicely they did a chore and how much they helped you out. Are they doing well at school, a job or did they treat someone nicely? Did a younger child remember to use some manners? Tell them so and they will feel appreciated and validated. This will give them the confidence to continue along the same path. If all they hear are the negatives then pretty soon they will start to feel like it applies to everything they do.
When it comes down to it, everyone likes and needs to feel appreciated and valued. If your child feels this way from the beginning, they will not have any need to go out and search for this validation. They will have the confidence they need to excel.
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