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They say God made all of us equals. Two hands, two arms, a heart, mind and the works. But are we in a world of equals? Obviously not. Some of us are prettier than others, some of us are more intelligent, some of us wealthier. So, what are you like? 'Not pretty, not rich, not intelligent', if this is what you said then yes, I wanna talk to you.
In psychological terms, you suffer from a low self-esteem. By self-esteem I mean what you feel about yourself. In simpler terms, you feel you are a 'no-good' person. Lets begin here. We agree that none of us are equals; we differ from each other in various ways. We have our own negative and positive points. The trick is to be proud of our strengths and work on our weaknesses. Simple as this may sound it is a tough job. The biggest problem is to accept our own shortcomings and then fighting them. Let's take a 6-step exercise on building our self-esteem.
Step 1: Accept your limitations and others’:
Lets begin from the very beginning. To find solutions, you first need to know what the problem is. To work on your limitations you first need to know what they are. There are two kinds of limitations, one that can be worked on, and one that you can’t do anything about. For example, if one cannot study well because of lack of concentration, it is treatable. Instead if one wants to win a race but is lame there is no solution. Identify your problem and then decide if there’s anything you can do about it. If not, then just let it be. Mere acceptance of the weakness solves half the problem. So accept it, and treat it as normal.
While you are accepting your own limitations accept others' too. Realize the fact there are no whites or blacks, there are only greys. So while someone else may be better than you in a particular aspect, in others you may be better than him.
Step 2: Find your own value
Remember no one on this planet is dispensable. The only issue is ‘do you know what your function is?’ If you don’t, find it! It could be your family, your friends, the society. Somebody surely needs you, work for them, work towards them.
Step 3: Set realistic goals
Set sensible goals. It’s all very fine about owning a company in a year! But hey, lets get practical here. It makes more sense being realistic. If you set unrealistic goals you will only meet failure. That will lead to frustration and further lowering of your self-esteem. Set reachable goals, this will give you a feeling of success and that will help you reach more difficult goals later.
Step 4: Work towards your goals
One thing I heard is true, 'You are not given a wish without the power to fulfill it'. If you have the will, you have the power. All you have to do is make efforts. Dreaming is one thing, being active is another. Here’s an example. Say you want to be a singer but you don’t have the money and contacts for it. What should you do? One way can be to wait for things to happen to you. It is possible. Probably one day someone will notice you and give you the opportunity of your lifetime. The other way is to make efforts towards your wish fulfillment. Start somewhere. Begin by recording your voice on a cassette. Send it to people. And then follow up, DO NOT lose hope. This will work in two ways, one it will lead you somewhere and two it will keep you occupied and you will get a feeling of 'Yeah I’m getting there!' In short be active, set goals and reach them.
Step 5: Set your own standards
Believe in yourself, and set your own standards. Your wife may want you be a millionaire, your parents might want you be a doctor, but what matters the most is YOU. What do YOU want? You want to be a rock singer? Be it. You want to sell your house and stay in a village? Do it. The idea is to make decisions and stick by them. It is true that a certain conduct is needed to stay in this society, barring that do what you feel like. And yes, be proud of it!
Step 6: Love yourself
Last but not the least, love yourself. If you have done something good, reward yourself. Learn to take compliments and be positive. Remember, what you think of yourself will affect what you feel for others. So once you see value in yourself you will be able to see the importance of others in your life. They say charity begins at home. Likewise, love begins with yourself. Remember only you can do it! All the best!
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