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Being a single mother is a tough job. You have to do the duties of both mother and father. The everyday combination of work, cleaning, paying bills, taking care of the children and the dozens of other duties may leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. How does a single parent remain positive and demonstrate positive qualities for the kids to model?
It is important for a single parent to be a positive role model for their children. As the only adult in the house, your attitude and behavior will make a big impact on the impressionable youth. Some important factors in being a positive role model for your kids include spending quality time with them, establishing a family routine, stability and keeping your adult life somewhat private.
1. Spend quality time with your children Many single parents experience financial difficulties that my prevent them from enjoying many activities like vacations or trips to the movies or dinner. No matter what your income level, you can spend quality time with your child for free.
Spend a day at the park or a day playing games with your child. When you are sharing quality time with the kids, it should just be you and the kids. Don't include your friends or theirs. Time spent talking and discussing their day, school activities or their feelings is a great way to spend quality time.
If you have more than one child, you should try to spend some quality time both as a group and one on one with each child.
2. Establish a routine Spontaneity can be a wonderful thing once in awhile. But children need a routine to feel secure and settled. Especially if you have recently moved or gone through a divorce. Major life changes can leave you as well as the children feeling vulnerable and insecure. Having a routine time set for dinner, bath, play and bedtime is a stabilizing factor for everyone. When there has been a life changing event such as a divorce or a move, having the same normal routine will give the entire family the feeling that some things are still the same and familiar.
3. Stability Children need stability to feel secure. If possible, try to remain in one residence for an extended period of time. Numerous moves may cause children to feel insecure and upset, especially if they have to leave their friends behind.
Other stabilizing factors could include child care. Try to be consistent with the person you use for child care. Children should feel safe and comfortable with their caretakers. If you are switching to a new child care provider, allow some time with you present for the children to get familiar with the provider and the surrounding before you leave them.
4. Single parents are people too, and that means we want to date Dating as a single parent is a bit more difficult. Try to keep your adult activities as private as possible. This doesn't mean to keep your friends or dates away from your children forever. Allow yourself time to get to know your date before introducing him to your kids. This is important for several reasons. First, your children may feel that your date is taking you away from them. They may feel that you are spending too much time with your date and not enough with them. This may cause them to resent him and they may even misbehave when he is around.
Secondly, children can become attached to a person rather easily. If your children become attached to your date and he no longer comes around, they may feel abandoned or feel that they did something to cause the person to go away. If this happens repeatedly, for instance, them getting attached to several of your boyfriends and then having the relationship end, the kids may start to fear getting close to anyone else.
There are many other ways that you may find to be a positive role model for your children. As long as you and your children feel comfortable and safe, you can openly discuss any issues as they arise.
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