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Every family at one time or another will have lots of stress and strain but hopefully the family can strive to eliminate a lot of these problems. The family is the first social group to which the child responds and in which he learns to get along. He learns to be obedient, to share, to be friendly, and basically, to become a civilized human being. Parents learn to expect some selfishness and violence in those early years and soon discover how slowly a child becomes a truly sociable human being. It may be that some children are born to be more sociable than others, but parents and family can do much to help.
Parents who for the most part are sociable themselves, in whose homes a child sees people coming and going, will offer new and delightful experiences to the child. Naturally parents want their child to be friendly, out going children, and not bullies or troubled children.
Relatives are part of the world outside the immediate family which influences a child. Some relatives may offer a wonderfully enriching experience for a child; others may disorganize a house and cause stress and strain on all the family members. Most families have relatives, and most work out some way of avoiding or limiting the upsetting and encouraging the stimulating, exciting experiences.
Parents who live with relatives often face special problems. If both parents are very busy, a relative such as a grandmother may raise the child and become "mother,". Perhaps the relative in the home such as the grandmother becomes the one to whom the child will turn. Be careful to realize if the relative living in your home is often being critical of you as parents and causing more stress and strain and speak with the relative and try to correct the problem. It does take patience, tact, and kindness to make families get along and have less stress and strain on the family.
Sometimes there is more than one child and the children do not all get along. Parents need to work very carefully to establish long lasting and cordial relationships among their child so they will grow up respecting and caring for each other. It is not easy to accomplish this task as it does require a lot of patience and confidence.
Sometimes a family is torn apart by a death or even a divorce and naturally the stress and strain on the members will need to be handled very carefully to restore the remaining family members to form a closer group than even before. This also will take time, patience and also confidence for the remaining parent or other family members. It just takes time to heal such wounds for the entire family.
In the case of a divorce do all you can to work out a relationship between your child and the parent who leaves the home and lives elsewhere. Do not be bitter in front of your child and do not discuss the bad qualities of the parent who is not living in the home. No matter what the parent who doesn't live in the home is still that child's parent and if he or she is interested in having a relationship with the child and hopefully provides child support also then you should do your very best to make this time as easy on your child or children as possible.
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