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Toilet training is an important developmental hurdle for both toddlers and their parents. The skills required for bowel and bladder control is similar. These skills are the results of a series of accomplishments, and parents play an important role by recognizing, reacting to and rewarding each accomplishment.
Young infants have a reflex known as the gastro-colic reflex. About twenty minutes after eating, the infant will have a reflex bowel movement. The ability to control bowel movements can only develop after the child has overcome this reflex. The child must be able to sense that a bowel movement is occurring. In most children this usually happens after one year of age. But the final act of this complex learning task will not be accomplished for another year or two. Children should not be rushed to the toilet. Frantic activity can be a frightening experience for some children. The speed with which you take your child to the toilet should be similar to the speed with which you do other things with your child.
Once your child begins to inform you that he or she has to go, you can begin taking the child to the toilet. Most children will be able to do this when they are two or three years old. Beginning toilet training should be a relaxed affair. Remember if using a potty-chair the chair is on the floor where cold tends to concentrate. Sitting of a cold seat can be a shocker to anyone, and especially so to a two-year old. At first associating bowel movements with the potty is enough. The energy level of two-year olds is such that they will not wish to remain on the potty too long anyway. Children take time to learn, and there will be many dry runs. Persisting will frustrate both you the parent and your child. When your child is tired of sitting, time is up.
The second year of potty training is a period of opposition. The child will say no frequently. This opposition is an important part of developing. The drive toward independence will eventually motivate the two and half year old to control bowel movements. It does not pay for a parent to engage in battles about bowel movements. Punishment will only intensify the opposition and prolong the struggle.
Bladder control follows the same developmental process as bowel control and will usually begin after bowel control in most children. As a child gets older they are able to hold larger and larger amounts of urine. By the age of eighteen months children can sense that they are urinating. The muscular ability to hold urine in the bladder is usually accomplished between the ages of two and half and three years of age.
Most toddlers are very much concerned about being in control and learn quickly to hold on to their urine. They are training themselves by holding their urine longer so that they may spend more time at play or gain the social rewards offered by their parents. By calling mom and dad for assistance in going to the potty is a handy way of getting attention, parents can except some dry runs. Accidents should be expected because a child at this age is known for becoming pre-occupied and forgetting.
Daytime bladder control is usually present by age three and almost always present by age four. Remember accidents will occur, even in older children, they will have accidents, even in school. Children will usually learn quicker when their older brothers and sisters are around to help and demonstrate.
Nighttime dryness takes longer to achieve. Expect an occasional accident, but avoid any sort of punishment. Children should not be kept in overnight diapers; this will not encourage the child to gain his or her own bladder control. Relying on drugs and devices is a narrow approach to this complex development. These methods have an important role but only as a therapeutic process involving efforts with the child, parents and the professionals.
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