Alternative Lifestyle Choices: Polyamory And Polygamy

WHAT IS POLYAMORY?

The term polyamory is relatively new and was coined by Morning Glory and Oberon Zell, who are polyamorists themselves.It literally means "multiple loves" (poly=many, amor=love, y=quality of).It is defined as the practice, state, or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.This is not to be confused with swinging, where the focus is on having multiple partners for recreational sex, and not for a romantic bond and commitment, as is the way in a polyamorous relationship.Polyamory is a lifestyle choice, not a sexual orientation.The premise of it is that multiple partners can live together (or live separately) and love each other as equals, without jealousy, and without promiscuity.In many people's opinion, the type of relationship that these people are in is promiscuous in and of itself, but actually, polyamorists often practice something called "poly fidelity."This means that although there are multiple partners within the marriage, there are not any partners outside of it.Also, it is important to point out that these relationships are not predicated on sex - they are about a commitment to your spouses, and a mutual love and respect for one another.There are no limits on the way to structure the polyamorous relationship: two men, one woman; two women, one man; three women; three men; two men and three women; etc.There are also no specific rules for how to live a polyamorous life.For some, they have a primary and a secondary relationship, while others consider all of the partners involved to be their spouses and life partners in a completely equal way.

POLYAMORY VERSUS MONOGAMY

Polyamory says that a person is capable of having multiple loves at once, while monogamy says that we are destined for one true love, or a series of loves, but not simultaneously.Monogamous relationships are often fraught with infidelity, and couples are weighed down by jealousy and distrust.In a polyamorous relationship, sexual jealousy is said to be eliminated.In fact, polyamorists have developed a term in their subculture that they describe as the opposite of jealousy: compersion.Compersion is described as the positive feelings one gets when a lover is enjoying another relationship.Many couples that practice polyamory say that they do feel some jealousy, just not sexual jealousy; they become jealous of time spent with other partners, particularly when a new spouse enters the home.In monogamous relationships, when a person has sex outside the couple, they are being deceitful.In polyamory, honesty is the essential ingredient.There is no sneaking around, so there is no need for suspicions or distrust with your spouses.

THE POLY FAMILY

Many polyamorous relationships include children.The children are raised by all spouses, not just the biological parents, and they all act as a team of parents.Often, children of polyamory are home schooled because their parents fear that they will be tortured by the ignorance and bigotry that the general public has for polyamorous family situations.

THE POLY MOVEMENT

Polyamory is not illegal, but it is illegal to be married to more than one person at once.That might sound like an oxymoron, but polyamorists contest that they do not need to be married in the eyes of their state governments to be married in their own eyes.However, there are many polyamorists that are trying to start a movement so that they can get all the legal, medical, death, and tax-related rights that are granted to those in a typical one man-one woman marriage.They also strive to raise awareness about their lifestyle so that the negative stigma associated with it can be removed from society.They feel bombarded by stereotypes that they are just sexual deviants, incapable of committing to a "normal" relationship, whereas they view their relationships as healthy, stable, and loving.Polyamorists also have a mascot: the parrot.They use the parrot to symbolize their message and lifestyle.