The book "Emily Post on Entertaining", published in 1987 by Harper & Row, offers this advice when extending an invitation for a business lunch: "The invitation is extended by telephone and the date should be set at a restaurant convenient to both the host and the guest. Make a reservation, requesting a quiet table, particularly if business matters will be conducted." If you are planning a business dinner: "Business Dinner invitations should be extended well in advance. The invitation may be extended either by telephone or written note. It should be addressed to the business person only, at his or her office, (if you wish) to make it clear that spouses are not included. (Again) a reservation should be made at a restaurant that is convenient to both."
When it comes to business dining, experts agree that it is proper etiquette to ensure that the emphasis is placed on the business at hand, instead of the meal. Most advise to eat something beforehand so you're not as hungry. Obviously, it is also suggested to order something that can be eaten neatly. Long spaghetti noodles covered in a sloppy sauce, let's say, would not be advisable. Even if you could cut them up into bite size pieces that wouldn't drip on your clothes or land on your chin, the time that it would take you to do so is much better spent on interacting with you companions.
Naomi says, "One aspect of proper etiquette for business dining that isn't very much different from social dinning is how to pick up the knife and the fork and how to use them So, if you don't have the basic components of which knife and fork to use during the meal, it does reflect poorly on you." If having a full course dinner, the key to the proper use of silverware is to use the utensils furthest from the plate on each side of the setting first and then work your way in towards your plate with each course. Forks are on the left (with the exception of the oyster fork, which is placed to the right of the knives) and knives and spoons are to the right of your plate.
Even though this usually suffices, humans do err and there might be times when the place settings are laid out wrong. So, it is in your best interest to learn what each type of silverware looks like and what it is used for. The following is a description of the basic pieces of silverware that you will find at a formal place setting: The Dinner Fork is usually the largest one at a place setting. The Salad Fork is a little shorter then the dinner fork and in order to cut the lettuce, it has an extra-thick prong on the far left. The Fish Fork is the smallest fork that is set to the left side of the plate because even though the Oyster Fork is smaller, it is the only one that is supposed to be placed on the right side after the knives. You can also tell them apart because the Oyster Fork is very thin with only three prongs. The Dinner Knife is again, like its companion, usually the largest one at a place setting The Salad Knife is shorter then the dinner knife and has a rounded blade The Fish or Steak Knife has the appearance of a sword, sharper than the dinner knife with a jagged edge. The Soup Spoon, which is supposed to be placed on the right side after the knives, is the largest spoon. If a Teaspoon is included in the place setting, it should only be used to stir your coffee or tea. Because of the etiquette rule that no more then three forks and/or knives should be on either side of the plate at one time, Desert Spoons and Knives are usually brought out with the course. If they are at the table, they should be placed horizontally above your dinner plate.
When it comes to the topics of conversation one brings up during business dining, Naomi makes it clear when she says, "We are judged by our breeding and by our manners." She advises, "In business, gender should not enter discussion in that situation, because in business, a woman is considered an equal and she is not treated in a different way." This is not to say that you can not pull out a chair for a female companion or stand up when one approaches the table, which by the way, you should do when meeting any of your dining associates, just maintain a gender neutral outlook when it comes to business matters. For the most part, you will spend your time discussing the reason for the meeting in the first place but when "making small-talk" while waiting on others or before leaving, topics should be kept general. Avoid such subjects as politics, religion or health unless they are specifically a part of the business you are conducting.
Proper etiquette for business dining, like any other aspect of good manners, is mostly about common sense. Keep that in mind and you'll do fine.
