The success or failure of a job interview or project proposal may hinge on how well a person conducts his or her self during a meal. According to Gloria Starr, President of Global Success Strategies Inc., "If a person uses incorrect dining skills or has no knowledge of dining skills, that person is not going to get the job and that's final." Inappropriate actions or behavior will often be interpreted as rude, disrespectful, or highly offensive.
Some types of etiquette blunders are obvious while others are more subtle. Most of us know better than to eat off someone else's plates, speak while chewing, drink too much, or arrive late. However, there are some simple things to remember that can help polish rather than tarnish your professional image.
Always be punctual and don't keep others waiting. Handshakes are a good form of greeting and should exhibit a firm but not crushing grip. If you are seated and someone approaches your table to join your group it is proper to rise, smile, and shake hands with him or her. When introducing people in a group, it is prudent to introduce a younger person to an older person or a subordinate to a key associate. Always use full names and titles or backgrounds. Never assume someone wants to be called just by their first name unless the person specifically mentions it. Try to avoid cultural conflicts by showing respect for the differences each party possesses. The host or initiator of the meal should be the first one to bring up the business at hand.
Posture is important and so is body language. Sit up straight, pay attention, and keep your elbows off the table. Do not become distracted by other diners, phone messages you need to return, calendars, or other irrelevant activities that don't pertain to your meeting or meal.
If your napkin falls to the floor do not pick it up; ask for a new napkin instead. Hold your utensils in a proper manner and do not grip them in your fist. Use the appropriate utensils for the course being served. Salad forks and soup spoons will be on the outer side of the utensils presented for use. Food should be passed to the right and you should never serve yourself first before passing a dish. Items such as salt and pepper holders or cream and sugar bowls should be passed together as a set and placed by the person to your right's plate. When passing syrup pitchers or gravy boats, always pass them with the handle facing the recipient.
To eat soup you should bring the spoon toward you and carefully sip off the side rather than placing the spoon into your mouth. For bread it is best to break off small pieces and then place butter on them. It is considered inappropriate to take a bite out of a whole dinner roll however toast or garlic bread may be eaten as a whole piece. Muffins and biscuits should always be cut in half and each side buttered separately. When cutting meat, the fork should be in the left hand and the knife in the right, if left handed these positions may be reversed. Only cut one piece off at a time; do not cut the entire item into pieces at once. When you lay down your knife it should be placed across the top of your plate with the blade facing inward. Then, transfer the fork to your other hand before using it to eat with. Limit the use of seasonings or sauces so as not to appear as if your food is not tasty otherwise. If you happen to bite into a bone or other inedible part of your food, remove it discreetly with your fork and never openly spit items into your napkin. When not using your fork it should be placed across the top of your plate along with the knife. When you have completed your meal you should place your knife and fork in a horizontal position across you plate. Dessert utensils should be repositioned after the main course. The fork should slide down to the left and the spoon down to the right. During a meal you should turn off your cell phone or pager so as not to interrupt the meal or conversation. It is okay to turn the sound off and place them on a vibration mode that is not intrusive to others.
Once the entire meal is complete and all dishes have been cleared, you should lay your napkin to the right of where your plate once was. Never push plates away from you, instead leave them in their original positions to be removed by the wait staff. Do not attempt to carry out any items that you were not able to finish or want to save for later if you are the guest. The host of the meal is generally responsible for the tab. If you offer to pay for your portion of the bill however, and the other party indicates that it has been covered you should always express your thanks for this action. Thank you notes may also be appropriate.
Some more tips that are good to practice in connection with business meals are:
* Always place you napkin in your lap and use it as needed.
* Always say please and thank you.
* Don't eat too fast or too slow, try to stay in step with your host.
* Always take modest portions and not heaping helpings.
* If you don't like something just leave it on your plate.
*Be polite and respectful at all times, even if the food or service you are receiving during your meal is substandard.
Some things you will not want to do during a business meal include:
* Never smoke at the table unless permission has been granted by everyone present.
* Never begin to eat until everyone at your table has been served.
* Never slurp a drink or with a straw.
* Never chew ice during a meal or at the table.
* Never use toothpicks at the table.
* Never get up and leave the table without first excusing yourself and don't leave unless absolutely necessary.
Using good table manners in not only polite but it also makes good business sense. Common courtesy and common sense go hand in hand and can yield tremendous benefits following a business lunch. If you are conscience of your actions and project a dignified image, you will earn respect of others and boost your own self esteem in the process.
