Dating advice for singles

Singles should consider a partner's communication ability more than compatibility factors like money, attraction, hobbies, or interests.

The first piece of advice is to know exactly what you're looking for. When I ask people what kind of person they want, they tell me somebody who is attractive, makes a lot of money, and has similar hobbies or interests, but what they miss are the important compatibility criteria like how the person communicates, deals with anger, envisions intimacy, and how much closeness or space they need. I run into this problem so much that I actually created a class for that purpose. Physical attraction definitely comes into a relationship, but I think physical attraction should only be about 15% of it. Compatible qualities are questions I help people figure out so they can find who they are looking for. I don't mean to give up emotion, but it is nothing that we learn in school and nothing that our parents taught to us. We feel that if we meet someone and are attracted to them, they must be the right person. That's not necessarily true. You could be attracted to every sixth person that walks by, but it doesn't mean that you should be in a relationship with them.

Written by Coach Rinatta Paries -
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