How can someone improve their grammar and etiquette skills?

There are lots of options for improving your grammar - buy a book on the subject or just read the newspaper.

Robin Thompson, owner of Etiquette Network and the Robin Thompson Charm School, says, "There are lots of options for improving your grammar. Buy a book on the subject or just read the newspaper. The newspaper is a good source for learning new words, and you will also catch up on current events. You can even find grade-school grammar books online."


There are many good internet grammar resources. If you type "grammar tutorials" into Google, you will get over three million hits! However, if you do any formal writing, you might find it helpful to also have a grammar reference book that you can keep on your desk. Sometimes it is just easier to have a physical reference that you can pick up and thumb through.

When speaking, you should avoid using empty interjections such as "like," "umm," "I mean," and "you know." Many people do this, often unconsciously, to fill in pauses in their speech. Sometimes even people who have a lot of public speaking experience will pepper their speech with "umms" and "ers," seemingly without being aware of what they are doing. That can be annoying to the people who hear it. Thompson suggests that you "tape record your voice and listen to how you actually speak. You will often be surprised at how you sound. I tell my students to record five minutes of a conversation and listen to how many times they say 'umm,' 'yeah,' and 'really.' What you think you say and what you actually say are usually quite different." If you become aware of what you are doing, it becomes much easier to change, and if you can get rid of most of the pause-filling words and noises, you will sound a lot more polished when you speak.

"If you want to learn more about etiquette," Thompson says, "you should buy an etiquette book. There are several big ones that are great and can be great references. My book for children and teens is called Be the Best You Can Be. I wrote it in a very simple, down-to-earth style, and it doesn't talk down to children and teens. I encourage families to read my book because etiquette is a family or group effort. It covers the basic things, not details like how to address a dowager or a duchess. (Somebody called and asked me that the other day, and I had to call the British Embassy.) We are talking about daily life skills: what to do at a wedding or funeral, and at other social events you might attend.

"So reading etiquette books, taping your voice, and taking classes are all good suggestions," Thompson says. "Self-improvement is a lifelong process. I always tell my younger students that graduating from college doesn't mean your learning is done. I have taught people in their eighties. You are never ready to say, 'Okay this is it, I am perfect. I am not going to have to learn anything else.' Learning keeps you young and it's good for your brain, intelligence, and creativity to take classes and learn new things."


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