Gloria Starr started Global Success Strategies Inc. in 1983 and has consulted with numerous high profiled executives over the years. She offers her clients advice and guidance in matters of business protocol and etiquette. Starr gives this example of good social etiquette, "If you are on a bus, stand up and give the seat to an elder person." Some of her suggestions are common sense like speaking softly in restaurants so you don't broadcast your comments to everyone around you. Starr suggests that you "show graciousness and use good eye contact, a genuine smile, and a voice that is lovely and fluent."
Parents should teach manners to their children. Emphasis should be placed on respect, decency, and compassion for others. For those who need more practice or just some polishing up on their etiquette skills, there are several basic principals anyone can follow to always exhibit good manners.
It is always a good idea to use "please", "thank you", "you're welcome", and other polite phrases as often as possible. They are simple and easy to say, but are often omitted from daily conversations. Try to build these words into your base vocabulary and use them whenever appropriate.
Being on time is also a sign of respect of the other person's time and effort to meet with you. If you are going to be late, it is advisable to phone ahead and let the other party know, offering a valid reason for delay and an estimated arrival time. That will allow the other person a chance to reschedule if needed or to anticipate your arrival time.
Interrupting others while they are speaking is not polite, but many people do this repeatedly during conversations with business associates, friends, and family. The message this sends to the speaker you cut off is that his or her message is not important. What you are projecting to the other person is that your comments are more significant than what he or she is talking about. Try to be a good listener and respond to what the other person is saying before interjecting your own comments.
Opening a door for someone is a simple gesture than is overlooked as a form of good manners. It is proper to allow elders to enter a building before you do, but if you do happen to enter before them be sure the door doesn't shut behind you right in their face. It is courteous to pause and hold the door open until they can catch it and keep it from closing. If you see a person that appears to have difficulty opening a door such as someone pushing a baby stroller or someone carrying lots of things, it would be polite to hold the door for them to pass through first. If someone holds the door for you, remember to say thank you.
Restrooms are another area where manners seem to be lacking. Starr advises, "Use proper bathroom etiquette, which is a courtesy flush before and a courtesy flush after (use of the facility)." Remember to close the toilet lid once you have finished as well. Above all be sure to wash your hands before you leave the restroom. You would not want to spread germs by returning to a meal table or shaking hands with someone without cleansing your hands first. If there is no soap available you may want to keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in your pocket or purse.
Finger pointing at objects is deemed acceptable, but you should not point at people. However, you may want to use sweeping gestures with your opened palm in the direction you want your listeners' attention to be directed if necessary. Always remember that every culture has its own body language, symbols, and expression. A gesture that may seem innocent to one person may be highly offensive to someone of another culture or region. A lack of such a gesture may also be viewed as an insult. If you are traveling abroad or dealing with someone from a country different than your own it is a good idea to brush up on the customs and protocol that are appropriate or inappropriate to use.
For example, in France, chewing gum in public or snapping your fingers is considered offensive. In Taiwan, you never want to put your arm around another person, to do so violates business etiquette.
Table manners sometimes seem to be sorely lacking in today's society as well. People need to use common sense and good taste when dining with others. It is important to know what utensils to use and how to use them. Do not make offensive noises during or after eating. Cell phone calls made or received during a meal are not generally acceptable behavior. Smoking is not proper during a meal. The use of napkins is significant to appropriate etiquette practices, although many people fail to use them properly, if at all.
Using good manners should be second nature to us all. By using common sense and thoughtfulness we can make great strides in preserving a courteous and civilized environment for everyone.
