Better Patience And Communication With Children

Better patience and communication with children. Some tips on maintaining your calm when penned down on a daily basis with small children.

When the walls are falling in, the children will not stop crying, the washing is piling up, and your husband is expected home any minute and expecting a meal you have not had time to think about, you feel your life is at breaking point, it is time to STOP and get a grip. Go and get yourself a cup of tea, put the children in a safe place, and read this article - it will help you.

Many modern women are feeling overwhelmed. They may be managing a household and holding down a job. They could be stuck in a strange town with more than one youngster at home all day, and no friends or family around them. Finances are tight, children get sick, you just feel tired all the time, and you sometimes wonder what it would be like to run away from it all. We are all capable of reading that this is due to 'high expectations within society these days' a 'struggling economic climate that affects many households with young children' and the 'demise of the extended family'.

Fine words, but not a lot of help if you are one of those people affected in all this. You can minimize the stress however with a few simple key words - organisation, boundaries, NO and time out.

No matter what your lifestyle, ORGANISATION will generally give you more time to yourself and stop you feeling so overwhelmed. Set up a routine for your day, no matter what you do, and try to stick to it. Be realistic about what you hope to achieve, and be prepared for some emergencies, but generally a simple routine will help bring order to your household, and allow you to feel in more control of your life. Try little things like putting the washing machine on at night, so the clothes are ready to peg out first thing in the morning. Prepare the tea time meal at lunch time, so it just has to be put on later. Get breakfast things out the night before, this is also a good time to prepare lunches for school children and partners. Every little bit helps your daily routine.

Set BOUNDARIES. While this applies more to parents with young children, it can be applied by anyone. Children adore routine (see above) and gain a sense of security knowing what is going to happen in their own day. They also appreciate rules, and a parent that is consistent in sticking to them. For example, a simple bed time routine which would include a bath after tea, story or cuddle with Mum, then bed with lights out, is something a child can understand and anticipate. They will sleep better with a minimum of fuss. By being consistent you are helping your children to behave consistently.

NO. One of the most misunderstood words in the english language. Learn to use it particularly with children and other people who are making unreasonable demands on your time. There is no need to be nasty, but it does not hurt to be firm. Many people try to get out of family obligations and the like with excuses. All that achieves are raised stress levels, and usually a whole stack of white lies. If you really do not have the time ( or the inclination) to visit your Aunt Ethel on a Sunday, because you want to spend some quiet time with a book, say so. People will respect your right to your own decisions and appreciate your help or visits more when they do happen.

And finally TIME OUT for yourself, your partner and yourself, and your children.

Time out is a very effective way of dealing with children who persist in being demanding, destructive or who are prone to tantrums. They can be left alone for as many minutes as they are years old, and providing you do not give in to more tantrums, screaming or tears, your child will learn through your consistency that their bad behaviour will not be accepted, and they will go on to other things. If you are using positive reinforcement as another tool, they will soon be trying to please.

You and your partner need time on your own at least once a week, to enjoy being grown-ups together. You started a relationship with just the two of you, and one day it will be just you two again. Don't let your partner become a stranger to you, and work on keeping your relationship alive - take time out for each other.

YOU need to spend time out on yourself, no matter who you are or what you do. You need time to regroup, re-energise and re-prioritize your life, just about every day. Whether you can snatch ten minutes or even an hour, spend at least part of every day, doing something that you want to do, by yourself. You will like yourself a lot more, have more energy to deal with the rest of your day, and generally be a happy healthier person all round.

Write a journal, take a walk, enjoy a long hot bath, do something that is just for you, and enjoy it without guilt. You are an amazing person and deserve some quality time out - you should know that simply by recognising the way you spend the rest of your day.

Make these four words part of your everyday life and see for yourself the amazing changes you can make to your life - you will be able to keep your cool at home, no matter what.

© High Speed Ventures 2011