When A Child Is Telling A Lie

Is your child telling a lie? Does your child tell a lot of lies. Is this fantasy? How to helpthem distinguish between make belive and a lie.

It takes a very long time for a child to realize the distinction between fantasy and reality, and often a child will find it is easier to just tell you something that is fantasy and not reality. We all know that it is normal for one child to tell on the other and it not be true. When a child is very young there is just a lot he doesn't understand about the difference between imagination and reality.

Usually around four years of age, your preschooler will start to make up stories and you can't say it is lying all the time as he is trying to weave reality and fantasy both into his stories.

A young child who lies doesn't have the same motivation as an adult who lies. His method of lying is directly related to his age. Sometimes daily events make their reactions differ depending on their fears, and dreams. They seem to



change as they grow each year and are not so overpowered by their own impulses and can control their ideas more carefully.

Most of all we need to explain to our children that because they lie it could lead to other people not trusting them. When they are asked if something happened and they lie then when the adult finds out they have lied they will tend not to trust them the same. Tell your children that by telling the truth they will earn the respect of others and that this is very important.

When children from the age of l0 onward to adolescence lie continuously then it becomes habitual and this can't be treated as cute or ignored. Then you need to examine the reasons for lying and determine a cause. This does not mean the child is starting a lifelong pattern of behavior. It is an indication that the child is having a rather rough growing period and has special problems.

Usually a child will lie for more attention and approval even among his peers. A child can easily form the habit of lying and then he won't see the difference in the truth and in a lie.

You as parents need to handle this very carefully. When you see that your child is lying often you need to realize this lying has become a habit. Sometimes children lie just to get the attention of others, to make an impression on a new friend for example. It is very important what we say and do as parents and how we behave ourselves. We don't want our children to think that life will be easier if they just lie a little as that is not true.

If we want our child to learn that lying interferes with trust and that trust is necessary for loving, we need to reexamine those situations of avoidance and protection that amount to lying. We cannot ask of our children what we don't demonstrate in front of them ourselves. The manner in which parents handle the early signs of discomfort and disturbance is very crucial.

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