How To Deal With A Bad Bridesmaid

Some suggestions for dealing with a bad bridesmaid include defining responsibilities early, talking it out, and kicking her out of the wedding party.

CLEARLY DEFINE RESPONSIBILITIES EARLY

The best way to safeguard against a bridesmaid disaster is to make the responsibilities of your bridesmaids clear to them as soon as you ask them if they will accept the honor.Being a bride is like being a boy scout - you have to be prepared.Bridesmaids are responsible for paying for the dress, shoes, and accessories of your choice, they have to help the maid of honor with the shower and bachelorette party, they have to attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and they have to help you to get ready on your wedding day.Make sure that they are prepared to take on all of the duties that are required, and tell them that you will not be offended if they want to decline - you just want to have that information sooner than later!If someone agrees to be a bridesmaid, then she is agreeing to take care of all of the responsibilities that you have explained to her.Make sure that she checks that she is available - no work or personal obligations - on you wedding day especially.Never try to pressure someone into being a bridesmaid if they don't want to be because that will end up causing you endless frustration in the long run.

CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF

Before you jump all over your bridesmaids for something, make sure you aren't actually having a bridezilla moment.Being a bride-to-be is stressful, and the last thing you want to do is curse out one of your best friends because you are frazzled with your florist!Your bridesmaids will understand if you are on edge - it comes with the title.However, if you don't keep your emotions in check, you will wind up with a bunch of unhappy members of your wedding party.Don't let your wedding ruin the relationships that you have with these women.If you have thought it through, and there is a real problem going on with a bridesmaid, such as forgetting to order her dress, then you are well within your rights to confront her.

TALK IT OUT

If you just got a phone call from the bridal shop informing you that your college roommate ordered the wrong dress in the wrong color"¦ a month before your wedding day, then it is natural for you to feel the urge to just call the girl and let her have it.However, that is not the best way to deal, needless to say.Calm yourself down first, and then call her and ask her what is going on with her dress.It could be some sort of totally accidental mistake, in which case she will surely be diligent in mending the error quickly.If she was just causing problems though, and she decided that she would get what she wanted, and disregard your dress selection, then you are going to have to lay down the law.Tell her that you are sorry that she spent her money on a dress that she cannot use for the wedding, but that if she wants to be in the wedding party, she will have to get the dress that you specified, in the color that you specified.If you find out that one of your bridesmaids is causing drama amongst the other bridesmaids, then you should talk to her about what she thinks is going wrong.Tell her that you don't care if she and the other girls are best pals by the wedding day, but you will not stand for an ugly scene that runs the risk of ruining what is supposed to be the most magical day in your life.

BUDDY SYSTEM

If you are really getting fed-up with the constant complaints from and about a bad seed bridesmaid, then turn to the troops for reinforcements.Your maid of honor is your best line of defense.Just ask her to try to smooth out the drama so that you can focus on the other, much more enjoyable, aspects of planning your wedding.Your maid of honor will help you out.She wants this day to go off without a hitch, and she also wants you to look back at the wedding planning as a joyous time in your life.It might be difficult to dump a problematic bridesmaid in her lap, but your maid of honor should be up for the challenge.

KICK HER TO THE CURB

Sometimes it just isn't going to work out.It is better to kick a bad bridesmaid out of the wedding party if she is constantly being a thorn in your side than to keep her around and have her sabotage your happy day.You don't want to be preoccupied with keeping her behavior in line on your wedding day - you want to be focused on the love that you and your new husband share.If she is really that bad, then who really cares if it ruins the relationship with her?You will be better off without a friend like that.

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