The difficulties encountered in dealing with sibling rivilry with suggestions on the causes as well as some solutions to the problem.
Mom....Dad........Tommy is fighting with me again!
Sound familiar? If you're a parent of more than one child then chances are it does.
Dealing with sibling rivilry can be a frustrating and seemingly difficult task. A parent can find his or herself facing somewhat of a dilemma when deciding the best course of action to take in dealing with all the squabbling.
Should they interfere and take control of the situation themselves or would this be just what the children are looking for, if indeed attention seeking is the root of the problem?
In cases where the conflict is escalating into verbal and/or physical abuse,immediate intervention is probably the best course of action to take.
Taking control of these situations and making clear that such abuse will not be tolerated is important. Seperating the kids at this point would be a good idea with a definite "time out" called for.
Whatever you do try not to take sides but rather act as the neutral mediator, listening to both children intently and suggesting solutions. Taking sides or showing preferential treatment will only foster feelings of jealousy and add more fuel to the fire.
As well as explaining to the children why their behaviour is unexceptable, try establishing positive feelings of self worth in each child by pointing out each child's unique qualities and strengths. Sometimes attention seeking may be the underlying reason for conflict, so it may be best to remove yourself from the equation and let them work things out for themselves as long as things aren't getting too out of hand.
When they show signs of getting along and behaving good again,recognize and praise them for their efforts. Of course there can be a multitude of reasons why they fight in the first place and taking time to recognize what some of these may be can help in providing a solution to the problem.
Maybe a misbehaving child is tired from being up too late the night before or they are simply cranky because they are hungry.
In cases such as this a quick snack and bedtime story could be just what the doctor ordered. Perhaps they are just bored and some diversionary tactics can be employed like getting them interested in reading a good book or taking time out yourself to play an enjoyable game with them.
The most important thing is to keep the faith and hopefully too many grey hairs won't appear as you try to work your way through the trials and tribulations of parenting.
