This article discusses some ways you can help yourself work through the death of a loved one. Suggestions for memorials are included.
When we first learn of a loved one's passing, we are immediately hit with a crushing disbelief.You may feel many overwhelming emotions all at once.These are normal.Give yourself time to work through these feelings.Don't hide from them.Dealing with the way you feel will save you more pain in the future.There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.These steps come with no set time table.
You may find that your friends and family will not discuss the death with you.They often feel they are protecting you.Let them know that it's ok to talk about it and that you want to talk about it.Share memories together, laugh, or cry.Do whatever it takes to heal.Sharing memories of your loved one will be a therapeutic practice.
When faced with death some people will try to deal with the pain on their own.It's important to reach out to those around you for comfort.It's not even important to speak at first, just be together.Humans are social animals and we need the comfort we get from family and friends in hard times. If you find you are having a hard time talking with those close to you, see a therapist.Find one that is trained in grief counseling to help you work through your darker moments.
Remember to be patient with yourself.Healing takes time.Each person heals at a different rate.No one way is right or wrong.At the same time, don't let others push you into moving on before you are ready.You will move on when you can.If you are feeling pressured by someone's suggestions or ideas let him or her know that you appreciate their concern, but you need to deal with this at your own pace.
If you have lost a young child, you may be experiencing strong feelings of guilt.You may feel that you should have been able to keep them alive or prevented the death. Even though this may be a totally irrational thought, it is important that you deal with those feelings. Seek out a support groups for parents that have lost children or find a qualified therapist.If you have lost a spouse you are dealing with many life changes on top of losing your life partner.You now have to worry about being a single parent and a single wage earner.Don't try to take this on all by yourself, or all at once.Ask those you love to help you.You will find that they are more than happy to do so.
As time goes on you may experience a second wave of intense emotion.When death first occurs, a feeling of numbness can mask some of your pain.When this numbness wears off, you may experience the pain all over again.This can happen anywhere from a week to a few months after the death.This does not mean you are regressing; it's a natural stage of grief.Don't let this keep you from trying to move ahead.The loved one you lost would have wanted you to move ahead and live your life.
If you find yourself clinging to your grief, it may be because you feel that once you stop grieving, you are letting go of your last connection with your loved one.It is important to work through this grief and move past it.Embrace the memories of your loved one.Find something that helps you recreate their memory so that you are celebrating your loved one's life, not clinging to the pain of their death.Find photos of your loved one that have special meaning and create a photo collage or memory box.Plant a small garden of their favorite flowers or plant a tree in their honor.Ask friends and family to write something about the loved one and create a memory scrapbook.You can give money to a charity in their honor or sew a quilt with some of their clothes.Any of these things will create a lasting tribute to the life of the person you have lost.In a small way, they live on through your memories.
