Dealing With A Jealous Husband

Advice for married woman dealing with jealous husbands.

The first thing that you should ask yourself is why is your husband so jealous?It is possible that his childhood was laden with traumatic experiences that led to his intense insecurities, and that those fears and trepidations have followed him into adulthood.Therefore, his insecurity has much more to do with him than it does with you.Surely, you and your husband have talked about your pasts.Was he bullied at school when he was a kid?Did he grow up in an abusive home?Was one of his parents unfaithful, and did that infidelity lead to his parent's divorce?Was your child overweight or very awkward looking throughout adolescence?Often times, insecurity is ingrained deep within a person's mind, and your husband's jealousy may be stemming from a dark place in his childhood or teenaged years.While you should try to be compassionate about your husband's feelings, you also have to understand that it is unfair for him to take out his troubled past on you and your marriage.

If your husband has been married before or had other serious relationships, how and why did those relationships end?If your husband has been cheated on in his past, you may be paying for the sins of his former flames, and that is just categorically unacceptable.Your husband owes it to you to respect you as an individual; you do not deserve to be measured against other women that have been in his life.Your husband is unsure of himself.He is not convinced that he is good enough to keep you interested.He can't believe that you would actually be able to be true to him.These are his issues, and he has to address them so that your marriage doesn't suffer.You should demand that the two of you get into some couple's counseling, but also, your husband needs some individual therapy so that he can work out his jealousy and insecurity issues.These issues are merely being transferred to you; you are not responsible for them, and your husband has to address them independently.

A little jealousy can be flattering.It's nice to see that your husband is so protective of you.However, there is definitely a fine line between cute and affectionate jealousy and possessive, unhealthy jealousy.If your husband is so jealous and insecure that he is trying to control and monitor every aspect of your life, then you are in a very bad situation.You are your own person, married or not.Your husband doesn't own you, and he is not in charge of you.You are not a child; you are a wife, and you are an adult.You and your husband are equals, and he has no right to attempt to dominate every aspect of your existence just because he has pitifully low self-esteem.Your husband does not have the right to tell you what friends you can talk to, where you can go, who you can be friendly with at work, when your family can come to visit, or what you can wear.You deserve to be respected and trusted.If your husband's jealousy has lead to an unhealthy and emotionally abusive situation, and he refuses to seek help in the form of therapy or counseling, then you have to get yourself out of the marriage, and fast.If the situation has escalated to a degree that you actually fear your safety if you try to leave, you have to contact the authorities so that you can safely reclaim your life and your independence.


The last thing that you want to do is fight fire with fire.If you have a jealous husband, that doesn't mean that you should become a jealous wife.Two wrongs don't make a right.In fact, you should point out to your husband that you respect him enough to trust him and believe in him.Reassure him that you love him, and only him, and let him know that it deeply hurts you that he cannot put his trust and faith in you and your union.If he is not willing to take steps towards changing his jealous ways, then you should find your way out the door.

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