Death Of A Pet: Explaining The Death To Your Child

When a family pet dies, it is always a tragedy. How do you explain the death of a pet to your child?

For anybody who has ever suffered through the loss of a loved pet, the stress and sadness involved can be quite staggering. For some families, the death of a pet is a drawn-out process where the pet suffers through an illness for an extended period of time and is ultimately euthanized to end the suffering. Other families experience the death of a pet instantly, where the death is quick and unexpected. Either way, the loss is tragic and families find themselves going through a grieving process. As adults, we may understand our grieving process and be fully aware that a tragedy like this can take months or even a year to get over, but what about the grieving process of a child? How do you explain the death of a family pet to your own child?

One of the first things you should keep in mind is that you should tell your child about the loss of the pet as soon as possible. You do not want to get into a scenario where you put off talking to your child for so long that they begin asking you questions like, "Where is Brownie?"

Remember that the death of a pet may be the first time your child has ever experienced the concept of "death," so you will want to talk candidly and honestly about what death is. It is extremely tempting for parents to want to speak in vague terms about death, like "Brownie had to be put to sleep" or "Brownie is simply sleeping right now." As parents, we want to soften the blow and ease our children into the topic of death; however, what must be understood is that death is not to be treated lightly at any age and its permanent status must be discussed openly with your children. Also, at a younger age, you do not want to have your children associate "death" with "sleeping" or they are liable to start getting nervous about taking naps and going to bed at night.

Answer all of your children's questions to the best of your knowledge and as honestly as you can. Your child, depending on his age, will probably have many questions about death. Do not be surprised if he begins to worry about your and your spouse's own mortality. He may cling to you more than he normally does, so be patient with him as he goes through his own learning and grieving process.

If the pet belonged specifically to your child, ask him if he would like to have a burial and memorial for his pet. If the pet belonged to your entire family, you can plan a burial and ask your child to take part. At the burial, have each family member, including children, speak of some favorite memories about their pet. They may choose to write poems or stories to bury along with their pet.

When speaking to your child about the loss of a pet, do not feel like you should remain emotionless. If you feel like crying, go ahead and cry. This will demonstrate to your child that it is okay to show their emotion and they will not feel like they should pent up their sorrow.

One thing that many parents do to help ease the pain of a pet that has died is to run out and get the child a new pet. By doing so, however, a parent is demonstrating to his child that pets are able to be easily replaced. Refrain from getting a new pet until both the child and the entire family feel ready.

© Demand Media 2011