Why Did Your Wife Have An Affair?

If you find out that your wife has had an affair, you are probably wondering why. This article lists some of the most common reasons women stray.

The number of women who have affairs is on the rise. Over the last twenty or thirty years these numbers have steadily increased. It is estimated that over 35 percent of married women will have an affair. Women are enjoying more freedom then their grandmothers once did. Women are working outside the home and have become more independent. While this is a good thing, women may find themselves in situations that lead them astray. Even when we marry, we still find others attractive. This is natural. Attraction to another is not the problem; the problem is what a person decides to do with those feelings. There are a variety of reasons why a woman might cheat. The easiest way to find out why a woman cheats is to ask her. However she may not always know the exact reason herself. Most often it stems from problems within her marriage. Other times, she may just be unable to control herself.

Emotional Needs

The most common reason a wife will have an affair is a lack of emotional intimacy. Quite often life takes us places we never dreamed. When we marry we are deeply in love and focused on each other. As the marriage goes on, this focus can shift to other things. Men and women both can have high-pressure jobs that require a lot of our time and energy. Married couples often start families and the needs of the children often overshadow our need to be with each other. Sometimes men forget that women always need to know their mate is there for them. During courtship men throw everything they have into romance. Once the vows are spoken though, many feel the work is done. This just isn't the case. Women still need to be shown that they are important. If a woman isn't feeling this at home chances are she will look elsewhere for this kind of support. The guy at work who listens to her and always seems to be there suddenly seems like something she cannot live without. It is not always the husband's fault that this happens; it can be a problem for both parties involved in the marriage. Men often cheat for the very same reason. If a woman is not getting what she so desperately needs at home, she may end up finding it somewhere else.


As times moves along in a marriage, sometimes we lose ourselves. We don't take care of ourselves like we once did. Love can make a person lazy. Change can also come in the form of new hobbies and new friends. Sometimes husband and wife grow in different directions. This often happens without either party realizing it has happened. The focus of the marriage may become less about each other and more about their own interests. Though it is important for each spouse to have their own time and their own interests, it is just as important to keep in touch with each other. If this does not happen we may feel alienated from our spouse. Some woman may feel that their spouse just isn't interested in them anymore. This leads them to find someone who is interested.

Not Feeling It

Sometimes people just fall out of love. There are many times in a marriage when one spouse will be more in love than the other. It's a natural ebb and flow of affection that all couples go through. Busy lives can lead us to not have enough time for each other. Woman often need to feel loved to enjoy sex, though this is not always the case. Men sometimes need the sex to feel reassured that they are loved. This sharp contrast can often cause huge problems.


A woman sometimes just gets bored. Perhaps she's not working and at home with the kids. This may be fulfilling in some respects but in others, she may feel very lonely and very bored with her life. Men sometimes forget that their wives still need some of the excitement that brought them together in the first place. Married couples sometimes know each other too well, and there are no more surprises. A wife may be craving excitement and adventure in her life and if she can't find that at home, she may find it elsewhere.

Pay Back

Sometimes a women may cheat purely out of revenge. Her husband may have cheated on her and she simply wants to get him back. She may be angry about not getting enough affection and will have an affair to get her husbands attention. She may feel overwhelmed in her life and an affair is a break from her reality.

She Feels Unappreciated

When a women is working to raise children, has her own job, and takes on most of the household chores she can be exhausted. She may feel like her husband doesn't appreciate what she does. If a man does not take the time to let her know that her work is noticed and that he is grateful for all her hard work, she may stray. She may find that someone else does appreciate all she does and that person will make her feel good. No one wants to be taken for granted; yet it can happen in the best of marriages. Men forget that appreciation is not just a given, the women needs to be shown that her efforts are noticed.


Some women are simply looking for the next best thing. The simple fact is that there will always be someone better looking, more fit, or richer than our spouse. Some women simply can't fight off the attraction and the feeling that maybe they can do better. Quite often this type of woman wasn't ready to get married in the first place. This was at one time thought to be a male problem, but women do it too.

All of the Above

A wife may cheat for any of these reasons. Her reasons may be a mixture of several issues. The reasons are never simple and never the same for each women. If you're wife has strayed and you wish to save your marriage, take a good look at what your relationship has become recently. Learning to avoid the things that commonly lead to an affair is your first step in rebuilding trust, moving on, and preventing it from happening again.

Trending Now

© High Speed Ventures 2011