If you are having marital problems, you have to have an honest talk with your wife about the feelings you are having.
Different types of problems warrant different types of discussion, but regardless of what the problem is that you are talking about, you have to keep a few ground rules in place.First of all, never have a meaningful conversation when you don't have plenty of time to devote to your talk.The last thing you want is to start a meaningful exchange with your wife and then abruptly end it midway because one of you has to get to work or something.Secondly, make sure that you are in a quiet, calm, distraction-free environment so that both of you can focus all of your attention on the matter at hand.Third, never resort to using profanity or name-calling; violent, aggressive language will negate the intent behind your talk, which was to heal your relationship troubles with your wife.
If you and your wife have stopped having sex on a regular basis, and you are feeling very rejected by your wife, you have to tell her that.Tell her that you are feeling inadequate because she frequently rejects your sexual advances, and ask her if she can tell you why.Your greatest fear may be that she says that she just hates your sexual performance and she is no longer attracted to you, but luckily, there is a very slim chance that you will hear anything like that unless you have cheated on her or betrayed her in another major way.You may find out that she has been feeling unattractive herself, and therefore she doesn't feel sexy and sensual anymore.You can reassure her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you, and that she is sexy and incredibly attractive in your eyes, and always has been.You may think that she should already know that, but you'd be surprised how much a change it can make for her to actually hear the words come out of your mouth.Another possibility is that your wife is just plain tired, and at the end of the day, she just doesn't have the energy to make love.If this is the case, offer to help out around the house with cleaning and cooking, and suggest that the two of you give morning lovemaking a try.
Financial problems are often the number one cause of fights between married couples.If you and your wife are having financial difficulties, you are prone to excessive arguments and squabbles.Often times, you are just venting your frustration with the situation, not each other.You have to realign your thought process so that you recognize that the two are you are fighting the same battle; you are partners in this life.If you want to talk about financial problems with your wife, do so in a logical way.Finances are not personal - they are business, so don't allow emotions to overrun your financial discussions.To have a talk about money, sit down together with all of your financial documents available, and talk through every single one.If you feel that your wife is spending beyond the means of your financial situation, ask her if the two of you could find some creative ways - together - to rework your budget.Never come from a place of blame and anger; come from a place of caring and optimism.
Regardless of what the specific issue at hand is -- division of household labor, childcare responsibilities, a lack of quality family time, et cetera - the guidelines for your discussions are the same.You have to respect each other, and you have to think about the tone of voice you use and the type of language you use.Often times, a problem exists because of the way you talk about it, and if you change your attitude and outlook, you will finally get the outcome that you have wanted.
