I think there are a lot of studies that show that regardless of what the problem is in a marriage, children tend to blame themselves. The best way to cope with that is not to for the child to know all the details of the problems that have created divorce but certainly have some information. The most important thing that parents can do is to not use the child as a pawn in their own power struggle, disagreements and fighting that's led to a divorce and for the parents to make the child the number one priority in their communication. Parents should not play the child one against the other or talk badly about the other parent in front of the child. That's really critical. I think there are several studies that show when parents can put their own feelings aside and continue after the divorce to parent the child as a teen and not talk badly about the other one, kids can maintain high self-esteem through divorces. Children can do very well and sometimes do much better in a divorce situation than they would when the parents are in the home and things are not going well.
