Dreaming and problem solving. Dream expert Layne Dalfen discusses how analyzing dreams can lead you to solutions to problems. Here's an example: A woman had a dream about her deceased aunt. When I asked...
Here's an example: A woman had a dream about her deceased aunt. When I asked her what had happened the day before she explained that she and her husband had an argument, he was very rude, but she didn't respond to him. I asked her to very quickly tell me the first two or three things that came to mind when she thought of her aunt. She said, "She had a big mouth and she really knew how to tell you that she didn't like you." Her unconscious brought forward from her database, or filing cabinet, someone who she considered to be a very assertive person and the aunt was therefore the answer to the issue about the argument with the husband. She fears that if she speaks up for herself she will turn into a "big mouth". She under-reacted to the argument with her husband and her unconscious chose someone who was her antithesis. The solution was somewhere in the middle - saying something like "the way you spoke to me last night really hurt my feelings" to her husband.
Carl Jung is the person who said the dream is yours, you are the producer, you are director, you are the writer, and you are all the players. And it's true, it's your dream, it comes out of your head. What happens is that you take the part that you feel the most comfortable with and you give out all the other parts of the dream to different parts of your psyche. When you are born, you are born whole, you have everything, you know the ability to be selfish, to be giving, to be a hero, to be a coward, to be assertive, to be shy, to be angry, to be happy - you have a plethora of possibilities and emotions. When you grow up you learn to be more one way than another. If you grow up in a house where you have siblings you might get the message from your parents that it is not cool to be selfish. They say share your toys, look after and be nice to your sisters and brothers and you get the message that it is not okay to be selfish. Whereas if you grow up in a home when you are the only child, it's okay to be selfish because all the toys belong to you anyway. Frederick Pearls said that we become over invested in certain aspects of our personality and under invested in other aspects.
And so, this woman who is not speaking up to her husband when he yells at her - it's not that she doesn't have the potential or ability to speak up. It's just that it's an under invested part of her. Maybe she grew up in home where it wasn't cool to speak up so she learned to shut up. The aunt represents the part of that woman's personality that has the ability to speak up and she is the answer in the dream. The aunt is who she needs to access in order to deal with the husband.
