Effects On Children Of Divorced Parents: How Dad Can Stay Close

Effects of divorce on children is destructive. Parents can loose healthy relations with their children. This article will help parents stay close despite the circumstances.

Divorce happens all too often. It is hard on the child and the parents, especially the parent who has to go away. More often than not, it is the father who leaves. Often the child thinks that they caused the parent to leave or that the parent is leaving them and doesn't want them anymore.

Children must be told and made sure to understand that this is NOT true. Do not assume that your child knows this. Just as you must not assume that your child knows that you love them. If you are not the kind of person to say "I love you" to your child, it is time you become that kind of person. They need you now, more than ever before. Hopefully, the relationship with your ex-spouse will be good enough to keep open and good communication for the sake of your children. There are many ways dads are staying close to their children.

Just because dad is not living in the home anymore does not mean that he cannot be a regular part of his children's lives. Some fathers choose to live nearby to be close to their children and some fathers who live far away from their children, perhaps because the mother has moved away, sacrifice jobs to move to be close to their children. If you ask any of them who have made this conscious decision, you will find that they feel they have gained not sacrificed, because they have precious fleeting moments with their sons and daughters.

If is of utmost importance for a son to have his father around to be a role model of manhood. Children listen to us, but they mostly learn by watching us, thus a son will learn how to become a man. Studies have also shown that girls who are not raised with the love and support of their fathers have a much higher teen pregnancy rate. This is attributed to the lack of fatherly love and affection. Fathers do not have to be the "twice a month weekends fun friend" that people stereotype them as. And most dads are not deadbeat dads either.

The ideal relationship for children of divorce with their fathers is to have dad close by and there at anytime the child wants or needs them. Strictly limiting the time the father can see the child is detrimental to the child. Allow the children free and unlimited access to their father via phone. Fathers, call your children daily. This will keep you close by. It may feel to the child as if you are actually there.

Incidentally, make sure the children understand if it is the case that the relationship is permanently over, because sometimes children secretly fantasize about the parents getting back together and never really accept the divorce, which can be harmful to them emotionally.

Some parents have a very good arrangement for the child where the father picks them up from school every day then brings them home right before or after dinner. This way dad gets to see his kids on a daily basis. This is very healthy for the children. Fathers should make a point to be as involved in the children's lives as possible. It is vital that the mother and perhaps step father understand and support this as well. Bickering and using the child as a pawn between the parents is dangerous to the child's emotional well being. Even if it is the husband who left, the wife must not let bitterness sway her decisions for the well being of her children. (Assuming this is a loving devoted father and not an abusive type relationship)She must put aside her personal feelings and realize that her children need their father as much as they need their mother. Father and mother must never talk negatively about each other in front of the children. This is only hurtful to the child.

Fathers should be at all important events including parent/teacher conferences, ball games, (coach if possible), plays, dance recitals, dances, proms, church events,band concerts, doctors appointments, driver's license, graduation, etc, and not so important events but special nonetheless. Examples of these could be: picnics, going to the movies, bike rides, camping trips, reading stories, prayer time, cooking dinner together, just snuggling in bed, quiet time, talks, lots of talks, lots of hugs and kisses, and "I love you's".

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