How To Be A Family Man: Tips For Better Husbands And Fathers

1. Spend time with your spouse. It's easy to take a mate for granted. After all, once you're married you may figure you've got it made, right? No point in sweating over a mistake or squeezing in more time for someone who's already been won. But the truth is that you must nurture your spouse if you want to keep your marriage alive and vibrant. Plan weekly dates. Arrange an occasional weekend getaway. Do thoughtful things to make her feel appreciated. You will enjoy coming home when you take care of these things.

2. Make quality time with the kids. Don't brush off the kids by running off to your bowling league or planting them (or yourself) in front of the television. Schedule frequent fun time together, whether it's playing basketball in the driveway or taking a ride for an ice cream sundae. Let the kids know you value them as individuals by listening to what they say and meeting them on their level in terms of recreational interests.

3. Put work on the back burner. Avoid bringing home a briefcase full of work for the evening or over the weekend. When the kids see you work so much of the time, they will adopt your values as adults and perhaps neglect their families in favor of making more money or becoming more successful. If you must work at home, spend time with the kids, too. Keep your at-home work to a minimum, and balance your life with domestic activities as well.

4. Help with chores. Coach the kids' homework. Drive them to soccer practice. Pick up the dry cleaning on your way home from work. Don't wait to be asked for help; offer it each day wherever you see a need. When your family sees that you are invested in their lives and willing to work shoulder to shoulder to help things operate efficiently, their respect and admiration for you will grow.

5. Plan family activities. Don't just wait for good relationships to happen. Make them happen by scheduling fun events for the entire family. This may mean an afternoon picnic or an evening play. Perhaps it's as simple as "game night" at home or renting videos that the family can watch together. Whatever activities you pursue, the strategy illustrates that family is important and deserving of your time and attention.

It's understandable that you feel the tug to become a good provider and that you want to establish a successful and meaningful career. But kids grow up fast, and your wife may get tired of waiting for her "turn" to accomplish something in the way of professional development. Stop staying so busy at climbing the ladder of success that you have no time to give family members a leg up. Support their interests and tend their needs, and they, in turn, will look after yours.