No matter what Mom and Dad are doing, the kids want to be involved. As toddlers, it is often easier to complete tasks without their "help," but it is important to find ways to foster this helpful attitude and to encourage it to become a part of their personality. By finding ways to involve young children around the house, they will be more likely to be willing helpers as they get older.
Toddlers love to wipe things off. They will pull a napkin from the kitchen drawer and wipe off all of the tables, cabinets, and furniture, and proudly announce that they are helping Mommy clean up. While this is precious, it becomes a little less than helpful when they first dip the napkin into the dog's water or into their juice cup.
Laundry is an easy way to allow children of any age to help with the chores. Young children can be guided to put clothing into certain piles as you sort items to wash. This will help them learn colors and item names, and will help them to be able to sort the laundry themselves as they get older. When it is time to carry the clothes to the washer, or to move laundry from the dryer to the next room, children of any age can help carry the items. Depending on the child's age, she might be asked to carry only a pair of socks, or possibly an armload of laundry as she gets older. No matter how much help they are actually able to offer, compliment the child as if you could not have completed the task without her help. Keep in mind that a few years from now you will be pulling your hair out to get this child to help around the house. Encourage this helpful attitude for as long as possible.
Children love to help unload the dishwasher. But, since there are sharp utensils and glass items in there, it is not the best way for them to help. Instead, ask them to carry one spoon at a time to the drawer. This distracts them long enough for the more dangerous items to be put away. Or, ask them to look around the house to find any cups that might need to be washed, and to bring them to the sink. This also keeps them busy for a few minutes, while allowing them the opportunity to be helpful. Older children can be in charge of putting away some, or all of the dishes. Before they are able to reach the cabinets to put the plates and cups away, they can be asked to put the silverware in the drawer, or to stack the pots and pans in the cabinet. They can also help by loading dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, or by hand-washing cups and plates. Knives and possibly even forks should be saved for more mature members of the family to deal with.
Children of any age can be made responsible for cleaning up after themselves. Very young children can begin this by helping to put their bath toys into a basket or drying bag before the water is let out of the tub. At first, they will just watch you put the toys away, but by describing what you are doing as you clean up, they will catch on quickly and want to help. Clap and make a big deal out of any item that they are able to put away, and you will notice how quickly the child learns to clean up the bath toys with very little help. Before long, the child will be ready to help clean up other toys as well. This will also need to begin by having the child help you clean up, and he can later take on more of the responsibility himself. And, while it is unreasonable to direct a toddler to clean up the entire play room, he can be certainly be directed to pick up one toy at a time. Start by asking him to put the blue ball in the toy box, for example. Later, move on to larger tasks, such as putting all of the blocks away. Be specific and be patient. It will take time for him to clean up each day, and it will take time for him to learn to do it alone. And, no matter how much quicker and easier it would be to do it yourself, remember that you are teaching him to be responsible for his own things. This is an important concept for him to learn, and you will be glad you took the time to teach him while he was young.
As your toddler gets older, he is able to take on more responsibility. It is important to teach children that being part of a family means helping each other, and sharing the responsibilities. Gradually, children will grow into being able to help set and clear the table, take out the trash, make their beds, and help with the laundry. It will be a while before children are ready to handle washing a load of laundry, but they are certainly able to help match up the socks or fold the hand towels. And, while children might not be able to reach the top drawer to put clothes in the dresser, they can carry the folded laundry to the correct rooms, and set it on the bed.
You know your child better than anyone else. Consider your child's age and ability, and then determine which chores they would be best suited for. As with anything, they will need to be taught how to complete each task. Instead of simply telling him to make the bed, do it together for awhile, explaining each step. Then, accept his best work, even if it is not perfect. While expecting hospital corners from a five-year-old is not reasonable, he is capable of pulling the blankets up neatly and putting the pillows and stuffed animals carefully on the bed. Keep in mind that accepting sloppy work will encourage half-hearted behavior, so make sure he knows that you expect him to do his best, no matter what the task is. And, reward your child's helpfulness. Everyone wants to be appreciated, and having Mom and Dad tell him how proud they are is often the best reward a child can hope for.
