Parents always want their children to have a better life than they had themselves and sometimes this noble goal results in bad habits and irresponsibility. Many of today’s parents may have had a lot of work to do around the house or many responsibilities when they were younger, and so they try to spare their own children by taking on the lion’s share of work and running themselves ragged. Although you might feel good about your child having more time to play and do activities, it can set your child up for trouble in the future. Children who aren’t taught responsibility end up as adults who can’t keep a clean apartment or remember to pay the bills. If a child is used to having everything done for him, he will not have the necessary tools to be a responsible adult or to have empathy and respect for other people’s time.
A good way to teach your child responsibility is with chores around the house. If you give your child an allowance for chores you can begin to teach him the basics of working for pay, saving, and spending wisely. Even the smallest child can learn to do a job like putting toys in a box or bringing dirty clothes to the laundry basket. You can further instill a sense of involvement around the house by letting your child choose the chores he would like to do. Try to delegate as much housework as you can to your children without monopolizing their day and don’t forget to delegate to yourselves as well. You may need to spend some time teaching your children how to do things like loading the dishwasher or folding laundry but once they have mastered these tasks they will carry them into adulthood. Show your children that everyone has responsibilities and don’t feel shy about letting your child know when you are worn out from work. If a child knows that he is helping to ease the burden from mom and dad he will feel good about pitching in. Younger children will get a sense of accomplishment if you create chore charts for them and mark them off with stickers when the jobs are completed. When your child completes a task reward him with a hearty “good job!”
Another important part of responsibility is making choices. Children can learn to make choices as soon as they are old enough to point at an object they want. Give your children every opportunity to make choices for themselves without compromising yourself. You don’t want to give all of the children their choice of dinner since you will soon be running a short order cook service. When giving children a choice it is best to have two choices in mind for them to choose from rather than asking them what they would like. You want to ask questions like, “do you want peanut butter or bologna?” instead of questions such as, “what kind of sandwich do you want?” Whatever choice your child makes have him stick by it.
Accountability is also a component of responsibility. Children need to know that there will be consequences for their actions. If your child does not do what is expected of him there needs to be a corresponding event that will deter him from shirking responsibility in the future. When a child does something wrong he needs to be made to apologize. A face-to-face apology will force your child to accept responsibility for his behavior and also teach him to empathize with those who are hurt by it. We also need to let our children know how proud we are of them when they behave as expected.
When our children learn responsibility they have higher self-esteem and more confidence to try new things. A responsible child will not only help the family run smoother but will become a responsible adult and our world can never have too many of those.
