Providing foster care for needy children is a complex and demanding job. Many kids lack parents or even a home to call their own. Instead, they live in a group home or shelter, supervised by a paid staff member who views the role as more institutional than parental. Opening your home to take in homeless children on a temporary basis means that you will surrender personal freedom in exchange for an extra measure of responsibility.
If you are thinking of becoming a foster parent, here are a few things to think about:
1. You will share your life with other people. If you like privacy, quiet, and few interruptions, foster parenting may not be the job for you. Foster kids are like your own; they have expectations, demands, and needs that must be addressed in one way or another. While they must learn to respect your schedule and rules as a caregiver, you, too, must be able to accommodate one or new additional people in your home.
2. You may encounter problems as well as blessings. Caring for a needy child can be fulfilling and meaningful work. Their gratitude and appreciation often make the sacrifices worthwhile. And when you see a homeless child begin to adopt a normal lifestyle and everyday routine, you will understand the value of providing this service. But many kids come from disturbed families and dysfunctional backgrounds. They may have experienced abuse and neglect, and perhaps they don't trust adults, including you. It may take some time to win their confidence and help them overcome bad habits or problem behaviors.
3. You may have to make adjustments. If your foster child has a disability, your home may need to undergo renovation to become wheelchair accessible or adopt another mode of accommodation. You also may need to put a lock on your bedroom door, set and enforce a curfew, and remove pets from the house in case of allergies. While such changes can be made gradually in the case of biological children, bringing home a new child can require immediate shifts in family patterns.
4. You will need backup. From respites to family vacations, foster parents need time away occasionally, just as biological parents do from their kids. Business trips, conferences or workshops, and out-of-town visits means that you will need someone to stay with your foster kids if they are unable to accompany you. In biological families, a grandparent or family member sometimes fills the gap. Foster kids sometimes do not have that advantage. But the placement agency may be able to provide or recommend a substitute caregiver.
5. You may have to referee conflicts. Foster kids may argue among themselves or with the caregivers' children. They may have trouble getting used to a new home, a new school, or a new community. Counseling may be needed to help them come to terms with their new environment. Caregivers may be asked to participate as well.
Assuming the role of a day-to-day caregiver for foster children is rigorous and challenging. Reflect on whether you have the skills and strength needed to do a good job for the young people who will be depending on you.
