Sex, drugs, alcohol and the idea that they are acceptable in today’s society are just a few good reasons why we must nurture a helpful and constructive relationship with our children. As children mature and begin to develop social lives they will be faced with innumerable choices such as these, and having a relationship where you can communicate openly with them will help them to deal with peer pressure and succeed in all they do.
So how do you foster effective communication with your children? The truth is good communication is a skill that does not always come naturally for everyone. Some people are better at it than others, but all relationships can benefit from it. When it comes to your children, honing in on those skills so you can successfully guide them through the tough times is very important. The good news is there is hope for even the worst of communicators. Following some simple suggestions can really improve on your communication skills.
Learning to be a good listener is a good place to start. To do this you need to know a couple main things. First, do not interrupt. Allow your child to tell her story all the way through without giving advice or making flip comments. Although, as she tells her story you can practice a basic psychology skill called reflection. Reflection is when you repeat what your child has told you, but in different words. You may also reflect her emotions by stating how you think she might be feeling. For example, if she comes home and tells you about a girl in school who was teasing her you might say, “Gosh, sweetheart, it sounds as though your feelings were really hurt by what she said.” A statement like this tends to open up the conversation because she can see you are really making an effort to understand how she feels. If you were wrong about the emotion she was feeling then she has the opportunity to clarify.
You will probably find that these skills will probably open up the conversation quite a bit—and that you can relate to your child more than you thought you really could. Perhaps memories of a similar situation that happened to you will come to mind, and if your child is interested, you might even share that with your child. Tell her how you handled the situation and what worked or did not work for you.
