Teenagers are notorious for hormonal fluctuations as part of their natural physical and emotional development. But sometimes this aspect of their development takes a detour and strands them on an island of emotional uncertainty or depression.
If you are wondering if your child is struggling with an emotional issue or want to take steps to protect and nurture your teen's mental health, here are some things you can do.
1. Talk to him. Make a point each day of conversing with your teen to show interest in his life and to find out what's going on. A listless, anxious, or depressed demeanor may reflect a natural part of the development process, or it may signal a potential problem. Get a sense of your teen's normal baseline behavior and watch for changes. If they come and go, that may be normal. But if a worrisome change occurs and lingers, you may want to make an appointment with the doctor or a counselor to see your teen.
2. Monitor friendships. If your teen hangs out with questionable influences, keep an eye on their activities and an ear attuned to their conversations. This does not mean you have to eavesdrop, but it doesn't hurt to listen to conversation taking place in the next room as you pass by or to take note of your teen's demeanor while on the phone with a friend. You will probably get a sense of the quality of the friendship through such observations, which in turn may let you know if your child has something on his mind.
3. Spend time together. Plan fun outings or one-to-one gab fests where you focus exclusively on your teen and enjoy his company. These times together will help to bind you and also make you more aware of the usual frame of mind. Perhaps your teen is more quiet at home due to boredom, but livens up out in public. But if a down mood persists, you may want to explore it further.
4. Know where your teen is all the time. You should never let your teenager go with friends you don't know, visit places you are unfamiliar with, or come under the supervision of other kids' parents with whom you disagree in terms of values. Even teenagers appreciate their parents' concern and healthy boundaries despite surface complaints and groans. If your child is getting involved with problematic behavior or questionable influences, you need to find out so you can intervene before it's too late.
5. Watch for signs. If you suspect your teen of taking drugs, huffing chemicals, or drinking illegally, or of doing other illicit or immoral activities, watch for signs or symptoms. Substance abuse may be evidenced in a personality change, lethargy, falling grades, poor social behavior, and a depressed or hyper outlook. Immoral or illegal activity may be reflected in lying, sneaking out, defying household rules, or other inappropriate actions.
A teenager goes through many changes during those turbulent years. It's up to the parent to watch for questionable behaviors that require further monitoring. This is not the time to back off from your parental duties; it's time to step up to the plate.
